As I was reading my horoscope earlier, I noticed that Ram Navami is coming up this Saturday (as well as a lunar eclipse) and then the week after, Easter. I am just now expanding my limited knowledge of Hinduism, so I don't know much about Ram Navami. I am no longer Christian, so while I KNOW about Easter, I don't celebrate it. Well, not in a zombie worship forever punish yourself because somebody died for your worthless soul and you will never ever be good enough but thankfully you can be saved ANYWAY even though you should hate yourself always for being such deplorable scum but HEY let's celebrate the torture and murder of this man who supposedly traded his life for your eternal salvation kind of way. I just celebrate the revival of the spring, and the fact that I survived another winter. :)
So anyway, the common theme is rebirth. Jesus coming back from the dead, Lord Vishnu reincarnating as Lord Rama. This can be a time of total transformation for anyone, and it's as good a time as any to make lasting changes. Also, Saturday is a total lunar eclipse in Libra. I read that this is the ending of a 19 year cycle. I am almost 33, so this would be the ending of a cycle that began when I was almost 14. Viewed from that perspective, I do honestly feel that I can cut all ties to the past and the person I was then. Of course I'll always have the lessons, but it's true that I am not obligated to be the person I was yesterday, even 5 minutes ago. People can change. It starts with making one different choice, and I'm doing it.
As far as Tristan goes, I went to the Montessori school and dropped off all of his paperwork except for his shot record. I had contacted FOC to have them send a letter to my employer requiring that Tristan be added to my insurance, and they did, and his coverage starts tomorrow! So, I made him an appointment to get up to date on immunizations for tomorrow morning. When I called, I found out that he has not been to the doctor at ALL for the past 2 years. He's never been to the dentist. Blair and Rachel only brought him to counseling the handful of times they did because their lawyer said it would help their case, not out of any actual concern for Tristan's well-being. But anyway, there's no point in getting worked up again about it. The important thing is, he's with me now, and I can make things right.
Everything is going to be okay! I'm in a scary but also kind of exciting land of uncertainty right now. I was very, very worried. About everything. There are so many variables, and they were tirelessly spinning around in my mind on repeat. When I went to see Joth the other day, he was tremendously helpful in working with me about that. I know I've mentioned it several times, but I'm honestly a die-hard skeptic. This whole NLP thing? It sounds like a gimmick, snake oil, too good to be true, something to scam gullible people with. However, I can't explain it, but the things he did with me honestly and truly helped reverse the endless cycle of doubt, fear, and worry. Was it like a placebo affect? Maybe just him TELLING me he fixed it made me convince myself he did? Even if so, who cares? If it works, it works -- and I'm not worrying anymore, so to me, that IS worth hundreds of dollars.
So, I made my vision board, right? And I really want to focus on doing reiki this year, on other people. So I have like 4 or 5 pictures of someone getting reiki on a massage table. Except I don't have a massage table. I could have bought one by now, but I think inside that's been my excuse not to put myself out there as a reiki healer and stay in my comfort zone. Oh, I would, but I don't have a massage table. Anyway, yesterday Seth posted in our Spirit Family group that he has a massage table if anyone needs one. So, I messaged him and asked how much he wanted for it, and he said, "How bout free?" !!! What!!!! LIFE IS AMAZZZZZZZZZINGGGGGGGGG
Joth is mad at me right now. My phone died while we were talking last night and I was honestly too lazy to find the charger or go out to my car. I just went to sleep, assuming he would realize my phone had died. I woke up though and he had texted, and messaged, and sent me a Glide and apparently he was very worried about me. It's not that I don't care, I'm compassionate toward his feelings and I think it's so sweet that he cared so much, but I really wish he wouldn't let these things escalate and turn into something way bigger than what they really are. Do I hear myself right now? Oh yes, I do this all the time. It's kind of weird to meet yourself, or someone so like you in many ways that you catch yourself being a hypocrite every time something they do bothers you. Because on the heels of THAT thought is always the realization that you do it too. We'll be okay, though, I know we will.
Want to know something really bizarre that he's been doing lately? We'll be talking, or in the case of the first example, arguing -- no, vehemently discussing -- and he'll say something, I don't respond (but I THINK something in my mind) and then HE responds to what I just THOUGHT! Like this:
Joth: I feel like you don't care about me
Me: silence. (Thinking in my head, I feel like you're being ridiculous)
Joth: I'm NOT being ridiculous!
That was just an example, of course. Those weren't the things that were actually said, but you catch my drift. Wierrrrrrrrrddddddddd, right? Good thing I have nothing to hide! I'm apparently dating a guy who can read my thoughts. It seems super cool but at times, there are things you just don't want to be known yet. So this puts our relationship on a different challenge level. That's okay, though! We are learning and growing, and I love it IMMENSELY. <3
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