This is my archetype. Previously, I used to say that I had the Queen of Swords on one shoulder and the Princess of Cups on the other. The Queen's jaded cynicism was a sharp contrast to the Princess' unrealistic idealization. I imagine that my Queen often chided the naive, foolish princess. I don't know what happened to her, though. I did enjoy that ability to fully immerse myself in an improbable fantasy. To become swallowed up in the delirium which accompanied infatuation. Wherever the Princess takes me, though, the Queen is not far behind. And ultimately, THIS is the archetype I embody.
As much as I'd like to believe in pots of gold at the end of the rainbows and white knights riding up on their trusty steeds, experience has taught me to look beneath the surface. To penetrate the sheen of illusion and to plumb the depths of the murky waters below, confronting the ugly denizens of those secret hidden places. Sure, nobody's perfect. If I continue to search out flaws and discard everything in my life upon discovery of such, I'll surely be lonesome for all of my days.
The thing is, though, when you are dealing with a woman whose number one fear is rejection...and you deal with a situation by essentially REJECTING her...you've just walked through the door, closed it, and locked it behind you. Whatever you withhold from me, I teach myself to live without. I don't want you to have the power over me again that depriving me of that thing seems to give you. So, deny me sex, and soon I no longer want it. Ignore me for a day...well, I'll ignore you for a lifetime. I don't care if you're my twin flame or NOT.
And that is the last thing I will ever say about that. As soon as I walk away from this computer, I will wipe the slate clean and move on with my life, seated regally in my throne with renewed resolve and a sharpened sword.
In other news, last night was the group meditation and it was AWESOME!!! We sent healing to our communities and to the earth during part of it, which felt amazing. I felt electricity through my body and my heart chakra was just pulsing and expanding. There was another part where we could go to another realm and we were instructed to go through the door without any expectation, and the Universe would fill in the blank. I was, of course, in a beautiful summery green fantasy land. I had wings, I could feel them, I could figure out how to glide and how to flap them, how to rise higher and descend toward the lush green grass below. I could feel it between my toes. I hugged a big, rough tree and I could feel the texture of its bark beneath my fingers. I could feel the shade, and the warmth of the sun when it was shining on me.
I hear all this talk about earth angels, star people, etc and I've always been a bit skeptical. I think, though, it's natural to doubt things we don't understand. Such as astrology. My family gives me so much shit for believing in astrology, but the amount that they know about it is like one piece of sand which comprises the dunes of knowledge. With just that one piece of sand, it's easy to be doubtful. It's only when you can put that piece together with the other pieces and see the hills that are made up of all of the interconnecting bits of information that it starts to make sense. I used to have a bumper sticker that said, "Don't hold strong opinions about things you don't understand". Anyway, so if previously in another lifetime I HAD been another being, angel or alien or whatever, I think I would have been a fairy. That would make me an incarnated elemental.
I bet you're thinking I'm a total wackadoo, huh? Hahaha, it's okay. As far as moods go, today is another great one! I'm not taking a nap today, instead I need to go get some money orders before work and I may stop and see Kian. I didn't get a chance to do that this weekend, but it's alllllllllll good because I did what I needed to do. I started this 30 day meditation challenge on DoYouYoga and yesterday was the first day. It was 10 minutes, but it went by quickly! Once I finally decided to take that first step to meditate, the Universe has responded with overwhelming support for this. There was the group meditation last night, the meditation challenge on DYY, and the Hum Sa meditation that came up when I googled.
Even if I don't get this job, it served a useful purpose already in prompting me to kick start my meditation practice. If I don't, I think I'm going to move to Grand Rapids. Then, Tristan can go to the Montessori school and I won't have to drive so far to work. We'll see what happens. I trust that everything is unfolding in divine order.
The Full moon in Gemini-Stories of the dark queen of myth and legend, the widow, the whore, and the mystery only she can reveal.
The image in the Queen of Swords card is the Magdalene pregnant with her hand on the skull. The Maat Queen of Swords whose roots are those of The Great Goddess comes to us in fragments from the stories of dark widowed queens of the annual king, keeper of the sacred spark. She is one of the last symbolic remnants of the Great European Goddess of the ash mound, the Dark Mother. The Queen of Swords is the archetype of all unapologetic dark queens of history, myth and legend like Cleopatra, Morgana le Fey and Mary Magdalene her reputation is that of the whore. This adjective was meant to diminish her power yet it cannot. She alone is witness to some forgotten truth. She remains a mystery to outsiders and is dangerous to her lover's enemies.
In a Reading The card would represent a woman who has endured significant losses and has recovered enough to reach out to others. All traditional meanings apply.
Traditional meanings: a widow or she has suffered the loss of a child. She has somehow recovered enough from her pain to begin to reach out again. This card is also sometimes referred to as the bitch, she is creative, smart, sharp-tongued and sometimes said to be a writer.
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