WOOOOOOOOOO YEAH! Awesome things starting NOW. It's 1:11, by the way. :) So, after a period of discomfort and stagnation following the completion of the last cycle, I am ready to begin a new one with vibrance and optimism. I am refreshed and renewed and ready to jump back on the wheel! Okay, that makes me sound like a hamster.
Anyway, I had a conversation with Sarah and I feel like we've come to an agreement and I'm not worried about this being a tense competition. I think we all really do just want to help Tristan, and pride and ego have taken a backseat to his well-being. I'm very glad about it. He tried to jump over the fence at the end of the school day yesterday and run away. He told me that the reason was because he thought they were going to take him away from me, and I explained that we are all going to work together.
Right now, he is with me in the mornings and with them at night. But, his behavior still could use some improvement and I have to admit that maybe waking him up in the middle of the night isn't the best thing for him. So, I asked Sarah last night if they would be open to me having him EVERY Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night, dropping him off at school Monday before work. I didn't think she'd agree, but surprisingly, she did! This will be better for her, too, of course. Now she doesn't have to wake up in the middle of the night anymore. Score #1.
Also, this parenting boot camp thing I signed up for starts tomorrow and I am going to fully participate. There will be homework and discussion every day in the facebook group, and I'm going to do all of it. I'm very excited about that. ANNNNNNNNND, I just signed up for this 14 day Conscious Cleanse (it's a yoga/green smoothie challenge) through Gaiam TV. So, I feel like I'm pressing a reset button on my health as well. Hey, come to think of it, I think my horoscope said something about that. What do you know. :)
And and and and AND!!!!! The Spherion guy called today! I thought I blew it, remember? I thought that ship had sailed. I told him that I thought I had failed the assessments, and he said, "Quite the opposite!" I had the fastest typing speed he's seen. (It was only 82 wpm, but I started typing when I was 5 on my mom's typewriter. She taught me, of course.) Also, I got 100% on the spelling/grammar (duh) and scored "advanced professional" on Outlook, Excel, and even PowerPoint (which I totally BS'd my way through, because I have never used PowerPoint in my LIFE). Soooooo he is submitting my resume for the position we talked about, which is in GR and goes til mid-September, and a customer service position in Battle Creek which goes til January and is $18/hour. This is really happening this is really happening THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!
At first, all I felt was overwhelming excitement. But then, the thoughts started creeping in. You know, THOSE thoughts. Fear of change. What about this, what about that. I made myself almost sick with worry. This is exactly the opportunity I've been trying to manifest -- not only did it come around, but it came BACK after I didn't want it the first time. What the HELL do I have to complain about NOW?
Well, I've been at this job almost 2 years. I've lived at this apartment almost 2 years. This is a lot of change. It's change in the direction I am trying to go, though. And sure, I'm nervous about how Andrew and Sarah are going to feel about Tristan going to school in Battle Creek. But, I didn't think they'd be okay with me having him every single weekend, and they surprised me there. So why am I reacting to unfounded assumptions? Haven't I learned to just take things as they come? Haven't I seen that things figure themselves out? Really, how much more perfectly could everything be unfolding? Would it kill me to just trust the universe for ONCE? All the worrying I've done up to this point has served absolutely no purpose. It has accomplished exactly NOTHING. WHEN WILL I LEARN TO LET THAT SHIT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?????
So, yeah, LIFE. Things are awesome again. Well, they're ALWAYS awesome. Except my car. I really need to get some work done on that. And rent, well, I'm behind again because I had to pay that exorbitant fine. Soooooooo hopefully I'll be able to give Charter 2 weeks notice because then I still get my final commission check, which is over $1,000. I can get caught up on rent and have my car looked at. But then, what if I can't find another apartment place that will rent to me? My credit sucks, I'm always late. I've been evicted in my (distant) past. WHY AM I WORRYING AGAIN. Shut UP, Christine!!!!
Breattttthhhhhhhhhhhe. PS I am SO IN LOVE WITH JOTH! Seriously, I think it just keeps getting better and better with time, which is the opposite way that my relationships usually go. They usually are their very best at the beginning, then deteriorate from there. This has been completely different. Sure, we've had challenges and it hasn't always been sunshine and roses, but when the storms pass, things are always BETTER than they were before. At least for me, I hope he agrees. I am still learning and growing so much continuously, and this relationship keeps getting better the more we learn about each other and perfect the art of relating to one another. It helps that we're so similar. It helps that he's so amazing ;) YAYYYYYYYY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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