As you can see, I'm done with the song lyrics. This lovely Greek goddess is Echo...she loved the sound of her own voice, and fell in love with Narcissus. Yeah, that's right. It sounds a bit like me, no? I mean, I don't necessarily love the sound of my own voice -- but I do talk. A LOT. In situations where I should be quiet and listen, like during meetings with my boss or conferences with the kids' teachers. I also have a bad habit of interrupting and talking over my customers. I talk so much...but I say so little.
Anyway I could start psychoanalyzing myself again but that's not what I came for. I have so much to talk about! I am officially a Reiki level 1 practitioner. Yayyyyy! I had my first attunement on Saturday. It was an all day class with meditation and discussion. There were 8 of us, plus Karen. She is the psychic who gave me that reading at Spirit Dreams. I really feel like I am aligning with my true path, and this excites me.
The Reiki 2 attunement is May 31, and Reiki Master on June 21. There is a small conflict there -- it falls on Hoodilidoo weekend. On the plus side, I already have the time off work. I think my priorities are shifting, because becoming a healer is much more appealing now to me than going to a music festival. I mean, sure, I'm still going to Peace Fest and all. But I don't feel sad about missing Hoodilidoo to get my master attunement. Besides, it's the summer solstice!
After my attunement, I felt different. I was so tired, I went to sleep at 8:30 and didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. I couldn't do yoga at 5:15. I came home and did it, though, and I never had a better practice in my life. I took so many notes at the class, and I planned on transferring all the information to this blog, but I'm still not quite connected with communication. It's like there's a block on the words coming out, and I know that now is not the time to explain it. Anyway, I've been doing the daily self-healing and my chakras are supposed to settle down after 21 days.
I am also cutting cords. I have released attachments to so many things, and have realized it is safe to put them behind me. I made an appointment for a cover up of the Noe tattoo on my neck. His memory is finally fading back into the nothing of my past. Whatever lingering attachment remained, I let go. In fact, I made a fake Facebook profile a year ago and I was using it to periodically see what was going on with him. (Please don't ask me why, this is something I don't have the ability to explain. It's the same thing that kept me going back even after I knew he was toxic to my life. It was some kind of sick addiction)
Anyway, as with all of my other addictions, I have noticed that one gently fading away as well. I couldn't tell you the last time I checked his profile...maybe fall? Sure, I still talk about him here. I learned so much from that experience. I grew, I changed -- I am grateful for the blessing I had to become what I am now, and I know it was in part due to the agony I felt -- it was time to blossom, because the pain of staying the same outweighed the fear of changing.
And now look! LIFE is SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!!! I could never imagine I'd be so happy. There is the book club, and the sister circle, and the reiki, and the ayurveda class, and my apartment, and my job, and my children, and the yoga, and the class parties -- I am finally LIVING! I am really ALIVE! I experience joy in every moment, this is ten million times more than I ever lived before. My light has gone from dull and flickering to blinding. I am radiant, I am filled with purpose -- I love myself, I know what I want, I believe in myself, and I'm doing things that make me HAPPY and feed my soul! How could I have ever found this if I had never gone through Hell to get here?
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