I would definitely call this a mixed state. Both of the kids are sleeping, I was up before dawn, and I can't fall back asleep. But what's the point of being awake? What could I do right now that would matter? What good reason do I have to do anything? It's that styrofoam buffet again. I seem to have endless choices but they're all just styrofoam. No joy to be had anywhere.
Yesterday I ended up getting an energy shot at the gas station, hoping it would snap me out of it. I felt a little less comatose, I was actually able to converse a little with Joth, but I still wasn't HAPPY. I mean, I'm not unhappy. I'm just existing right now. The weather isn't helping.
I've got coffee on and I'm drinking the last of my green smoothie from before I killed the Ninja. It's a good thing I kept my old blender. This makes me sad...I made hummus, guacamole, and green smoothies with everything from carrots to broccoli to avocados and nectarines. But then yesterday, I attempted to make peanut butter. I spent like an hour taking a pound of peanuts out of the shells. I followed the instructions exactly, taking care to pulse no longer than 15 seconds each pulse. I kept it at more like 5-10 seconds. I did it for two minutes, scraped the bowl, and was almost done with the 2nd two minutes when it just stopped. Luckily, the peanut butter was mostly done. I would have preferred it a little more smooth, but I don't really have a choice anymore at this point. Tristan loved it.
Oh, let's talk about history! Well, history in the making. Yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled for marriage equality in ALL STATES. Suck it, Michigan. You can take your intolerant backwoods conservatism and go cry in a corner. I know that doesn't make ME sound very tolerant, but I'm so tired of bigotry wrapped in prayer, oppression masquerading as "religious freedom". Your freedoms END where others' RIGHTS begin. The right to believe as you wish does not include the right to force others to live according to those beliefs. Just like if you are a vegetarian, fine, don't eat meat. But why would you expect that because YOU find it a sin, you have the right to ban meat and discriminate against carnivores?
People amaze me these days. Especially because they can't draw the parallels between what they are doing and what the oppressor has always done in the past, only recognized later to be wrong and inhumane, but by then we just sweep it under the rug like it never happened. Oops, women weren't allowed to vote...but they can now, so it's all okay! Oops, segregation. Thank goodness THAT'S in the past, no need to talk about that now, is there? Yet at the same time, these people are pining for the "good old days". They were only GOOD for the white Christian male. Get over it. Your reign is OVER.
I have removed a few people from Facebook, not so much over the Supreme Court ruling but mostly due to the confederate flag issue. I haven't removed EVERYONE that supports it, just a few people that weren't my friends anyway. The others, well, we can just agree to disagree.
As far as Peace Fest, at least Fabio and Crystal are still going. I don't know what's happening with Shy. She acts like she wants to go but she's being all Eeyore about it. She said, "What's the fuckn point" and "I'm trying to give a shit" and "I just don't care nemore". Hahaha LOL well I guess I can't really talk shit, can I? That's pretty much exactly what I sound like right now. Maybe we DO have the same brain. I can't judge her life at all because I have my own to worry about. I'm just hoping the sun comes out and this coffee kicks in and things turn around.
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