Yes, okay, so that pose doesn't look terribly impressive. But for ME, it was progress. Holding my weight on my arms like that, although you are supposed to keep your hips and thighs engaged, was quite challenging. I have weak arms, I've rarely worked them out in my life. I will say, though, after all these chaturangas, I'm starting to see some definition. Oh! And I was able to hold crow pose a little longer today. Only a second, but progress happens in millimeters.
When you think about that statement, really it's profound. In yesterday's class, the instructor had said that. I thought about that yesterday as I reflected on my life.
I know who I am, I know who I want to be, and I think it's only natural to want to shorten that gap as quickly as possible. A sudden, complete transformation. Perhaps today I gossip and complain, and tomorrow I just magically want to say only positive things. But really how I do that is consciously making one more better decision every day. Maybe I bite my tongue when I'm about to whine about my family. Maybe I resist posting that catty remark on Facebook. Maybe my attitude has improved by just a millimeter...but I'm making progress. And that's how real transformation occurs.
It's encouraging because I can look back at the beginning of my (almost) daily yoga practice in the beginning of January and compare my abilities from that time to now. Maybe I didn't notice anything from day to day, but I can't argue that my patience and dedication have led to steady improvement. That's exactly how I need to approach ALL the things I want to improve in my life. Do what I can, something, every day. And know that I'm going to have bad days, days that the best I can do is just bring myself to the mat. And that's okay, and it's no reason to give up.
I've also noticed something about honoring my body and tuning in to its needs. There are times that I am in a super energetic "growing" phase -- these are the times I make plans, start projects, set goals, and begin workout regimens. I start reading a lot of books and studying various topics.
Then, when I shift into "resting" mode, the things I have picked up in the growing phase suddenly seem like too big a burden to bear. I don't have the energy to sustain the same exercise routines I had started. I don't have the ambition to keep reading at the same voracious pace. The key is, instead of FORCING myself to, I just go along with what my body is telling me. It's okay to have lower energy times. It doesn't mean I'm lazy. It doesn't mean I'm a failure for not maintaining the same routines. It just means it's time to take a shift, focus on nourishing my body and spirit. It's a time of reflection and introspection. It's like a pit stop on my journey -- I stop, eat, take a look at the map, and go over my itinerary before starting the next leg.
Oh, so I have some exciting news! At the new moon sister circle, I mentioned that I was feeling called to get my reiki attunement. I want to be a reiki master, and it's (I think) a 3 step process with 3 separate attunements. About a week later, I saw a post by Karen saying that she was doing Reiki Level 1 attunements on April 19. I took the day off and on Friday, I'm paying for my spot. So cool, right? I love this universe :)
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