Tom just went to lunch, so I’m going to take this
opportunity to write a quick update. I
feel AMAZING today!!!! I can’t say
whether it’s all the water I’ve been drinking, or the daily yoga, or my
wonderful fiancé. To be honest with you,
it might not be any of those things. You
see, the sun is shining. How can I know
that I wouldn’t have felt marvelous even if I wasn’t doing the cleanse? Oh wait, I was hypnotized too. So these are all factors, I believe. The end result, though, is that TODAY I feel
like a goddess.
Today is the day to give up sugar, but never fear – raw honey
is okay, and I happen to have some of that.
I don’t eat a lot of sugar anyway….BAAAAHAHAHA. Okay, I’m lying. I DO sometimes eat copious amounts of sugar,
but that’s usually just when I’m PMSing.
Otherwise, I do the green smoothie thing which has no sugar, some type
of sandwich or soup for lunch, and cereal for a snack. The cereal has added sugar, I think. I have to give that up, but that’s okay. Yesterday I only drank a tiny amount of
matcha in an effort to taper off the caffeine – that ends tomorrow. I had a bit of a headache, and I was SO SICK
on top of everything, but I did a kundalini yoga video on Gaia called “Sick of
Being Sick” or something like that. It
was just what I needed, I tell you! I’m
still a little stuffy, but I feel a zillion times better today. I’m sure the elderberry tea is helping,
too. YAYYYYYYYY NATURE!
I guess you can see that I’m a little on the manic side, I
think. I don’t feel frenzied, just
HAPPY. The last two nights, I went to
bed at around 8:30 because I know that rest is important for fighting
sickness. I believe it helped, a lot. I already feel renewed, and I’m only 5 days
in to this cleanse! I’m all excited now
about all the things I want to do. My
head feels clear, I have motivation, drive, ambition! I’m going to keep on doing yoga every
day! I want to do a meditation
challenge, too! And go on a retreat with
Joth! And plan our wedding! And design our business cards! And start Aikido!!
I missed out on the bellydancing thing, but I’m sure she’ll
have another class. OH! OH!
OHHHHHHHHH!!! My pee is clear. That may seem like too much information, but it’s
important. Usually it’s orange. I always have such a hard time drinking
enough water, because I don’t LIKE cold water.
Now that I am only adding the tiniest pinch of matcha to my cup and
filling it 4-6 times with just hot water, I’ve realized that it isn’t water
that I dislike. I don’t mind drinking it
hot! I just don’t like it cold. Which is curious, because according to
Ayurveda, cold water isn’t good for us anyway.
I think my body knew that even before my brain had the knowledge. Crazy, right?
Relaaaaaaaaaaaaationship, overall is wonderful. I count my blessings every day and when
things get tough, I remind myself that I’m infinitely happier to have him in my
life no matter if things are rocky than I would be to not have him in my life
at all, even with the most ideal circumstances and no other worries. We still have issues, but I think we’re
working through them more quickly and effectively. We’re more quick to apologize and
forgive. We’re less stubborn, more
loving. After a magnificent weekend, he
did seem to pull away a bit. I tried to
be cool about it, but it got to a point where I wondered if this distance was
permanent, or what had caused the drastic change from the warm, loving, attentive
super huggy excited kissy love to the more subdued, disinterested, almost bored
vibe I suddenly got. I wondered if I had
done something wrong, said something.
His kisses were different, his energy was different. I started to grow concerned. We talked this morning and he assured me that
everything is fine, but he’s processing some things. I’m grateful for his honesty, and I know we’ll
be okay, but it’s hard not to suddenly feel like I got kicked out of a warm,
cozy house out into the cold. He’s not
GONE gone – he’ll talk to me through the cracked door, I guess, if we’re going
with this analogy – but he won’t let me in.
If I try to force my way in, it has an unpleasant effect on him and I’m
just supposed to let it come, let it happen.
But I’ve been waiting almost three days and I never knew what I got
locked out here for.
I think I’m going to listen to some Alan Watts, if I can
find it on this SD card. I don’t know
how to get to it from my phone. I’m so
technologically stu – errrrrrr scratch that.
I presently struggle with technology.
Which reminds me, tonight is CBT study night since I didn’t do it
yesterday, and tomorrow is Ayurveda.
Back in the swing of things, WOOOOOOOOT!
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