Sure, I don't post as often as I used to. That's one downside of having the 11-8 shift, and having Tristan all the time (which I would choose over anything, so I have no regrets). I leave my house at 9:30 in the morning and return at 9:30 in the evening. I have been taking the extra evening time to study for the hypnotherapy certification and the ayurveda course, which I've totally thrown myself into. I had a little bit of a break last weekend, but today is Tuesday so back to it.
Speaking of last weekend, let's talk about that. FYI I've been up since...well, did I ever really sleep? I woke up every hour, at least. The moon isn't at its fullest point but it seems to be having the maximum impact now. Perhaps it's also my excitement at having a job interview today.
Anyway, this past weekend was not my weekend to have the kids. However, at 4:15 on Friday, Andrew suddenly notified me that he didn't think Tristan should come because he and Sarah were fighting. Must be nice to just be a parent when it's convenient for you, eh? I'm not bothered by it. At least Tristan knows who he can count on. I brought him out to Joth's with me, realizing halfway there that I forgot his medication. We went to a bonfire at Jeff and Deanna's, and Tristan stayed up ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Saturday, he was just....*sigh*. Oh my gosh. It was hard. I know he doesn't want to act that way, but it was totally stressing me out. I had to work Sunday, I was getting irritable, and I had upset Joth so I decided I should just go to bed. So I did.
I read this article which I shared with Joth which was so helpful that I feel like I should read it every day and commit it to memory. Maybe I'll print it out and post it on my fridge. It was talking about how misunderstandings develop between couples, specifically how we are not capable of accurately interpreting the intentions of our partner when we are operating from a place of stress and anxiety. I shared it on my page, but here's the link as well:
We discussed the article and had a very enlightening conversation. I loved it. It solidified our commitment to one another and we agreed that moving forward, we would not speak of or hint at the possibility of either partner leaving because it isn't going to happen so that's off the table. I learned a lot from that article, and the conversation it sparked between Joth and I was very healing.
I'm so excited for this job interview, and I was so apprehensive about everything else falling into place. I have just decided to surrender and allow everything to work itself out. The energy doesn't start flowing until I let go. It's like water flowing through a hose. If, in my anxiety, I am squeezing the hose together and crimping it with my death grip of fear, the water can't flow through. I have seen enough magic over the past year to know that anything is possible.
I got Tristan enrolled in the Montessori school and started looking at rental houses near Battle Creek. I was worried that I wouldn't find a suitable place for an affordable price, but I found a few houses that would work out perfectly for us. Now, the chances that those specific houses would be available when we need them are slim, but it proved to me that there would be options.
So, everything that I worried so much about -- the job, the school, the house -- it seems to be working out. I don't know how Tristan will do in a Montessori school, though. At first I thought it would be perfect because it's very student-led. He's been telling me, though, that he gets overwhelmed when there are many students and a lot of things going on at once. Now I'm wondering whether he needs a smaller classroom, not the giant Montessori free-for-all. Should I contact another school? I don't know.
Well, I am going to make coffee and take a shower. Ciao!
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