Rajas

Okay, so today I'm more agitated.  I've been through a few phases already since I woke up.  First, I woke up and it was cloudy.  I was feeling groggy and lethargic.  I didn't want to do anything and felt quite unmotivated.  Eventually, I pushed myself to go get some coffee and turn on some music, which helped.  I put 4 shots of espresso in my coffee and listened to some Sean Paul, which ALWAYS makes me happy.  I got quarters to do laundry, ordered some moving boxes, and spoke to a woman who called me about submitting my resume for a job.  

It's $15/hour, 2 year contract (temp job), call center, 15 minutes from Tristan's new school.  Fuck yeah, I'm totally getting that job.  There are two shifts, one is 8-4:30 and the other is like 10:30 to 7?  I think?  I told her that I could make either one work.  I'm not really sure where to put paragraph breaks because I'm totally all over the place.  Sorry :)

So anyway, I got home and did the dishes.  The kids took out the trash and I started laundry.  I have messaged Joth a couple of times and I'm trying not to worry.  Why should I worry?  Everything is fine.  Of course he's not ignoring me, he probably just stayed up late last night and he's still sleeping.  But why is the loklok screen erased?  

Okay, I need to explain that part.  So, we have this app where we share a lock screen and we can draw on it and stuff.  Yesterday, he drew a picture of a fairy and a moon and a cloud, and wrote, "I love you".  It was awesome.  When I woke up, it was erased.  Also, he's been showing as active on Facebook ever since I woke up around 9.  He hasn't read my messages, though.  Is he mad at me?  What did I do?  I don't WANT to worry but the more time passes, the more scenarios run through my head.  This is so ridiculous.  Why in the world would anything be wrong?  Breatttttthhhhhhhhhhe.  It's just that my energy is so high and it's so easy for one tiny worry to take it in a bad direction.  Okay but I'm in charge here, yes?  I don't want to board that bus.  

Yeah, so he just messaged me and he didn't erase the screen, and Facebook was showing ME active at 1 am.  Damn that Facebook.  I know better than to believe its lies, but still it gets me every time!  So anyway, today I'm doing my study questions for Ayurveda.  Did I mention yesterday how I realized that I'm only 25% of the way through the FIRST QUARTER?  Here I thought that I was making so much progress.  It's exciting, though, because that means that there is so much still to learn!  I am going to be a total wizard at this, and happily so.  I could devote my life to ayurveda (and Joth, and our kids) and be completely content.

So, tonight.  Tonight we are going out dancing!  It is our 11 (lunar) month anniversary.  As you know, our first date was on a new moon.  Next month, it'll be a whole year!  What an amazing year it has been.  I don't even feel like the same person I was at the beginning of this year.  It's been a lot of work, but I've made some incredible gains.  And here, I begin a brand new phase.  I have my son, he's starting a new school, I'm starting a new job and getting ready to finally live with the love of my life...new beginnings everywhere, and I'm so grateful!  Last summer, I became a reiki master.  This summer, I've started both hypnotherapy and ayurveda certification.  I feel like I'm continually blossoming and growing into my purpose, and it feels divine.

Today is a new moon in Leo.  I'm seriously going to create some sacred space and set my intentions.  It's amazing to  read some of the astrologers' reports about this new moon, too.  It fits perfectly with everything I've been experiencing.  What a lovely time to be alive!  What a magical time to be in love <3

New Moon in Leo -- Looking At How We Express And Recieve Love (Collective Evolution)
New Moon in Leo -- The Problem With Having a Heart (Chani Nicholas)
The Lovers' New Moon in Leo -- Soulmates Collide (Elephant Journal)