No one's gonna take my soul away, living like Jim Morrison, heading toward a fucked up holiday...

I fucking LOVE Lana del Rey.  And in case it even matters, I became obsessed with her last winter, before anyone else had even heard of her.  Since September they've been playing the crap out of her Summertime Sadness on the top 40 stations, but I've been saying this all along.  This chick is a goddess.  

It's the same with that Awolnation song, "Sail".  I loved it and posted it on my Facebook almost a year ago.  No one commented or said anything, now I hear all kinds of people blasting it in their cars and talking about it on their walls.  I'm like, yeah, I already know.  :)  

Soooo, I was driving home tonight and noticed my kidney hurts a little.  I then realized that I have consumed ZERO water for at least 5 weeks.  Furthermore, at an average of 5 cups of coffee a day for 23 days, I have consumed at least 920 ounces of coffee in the same time frame.  (Plus 2 bottles of wine)  Hmmm.  Maybe I should rectify this situation, since I can't afford  to miss any work to go to the ER with a kidney stone.  Just a thought.  :)

Today was our first day on the phones at work.  We each took two calls with the other two members of our teams listening in.  I'll put this bluntly, I sucked.  It isn't that I don't have the knowledge or the skills, I just freaked the fuck out.  It's okay, though.  Tomorrow will be better.  And when I DO get this stuff down, people better watch out -- I'm going to be unstoppable.  I know that sounds cocky but I feel it.  I definitely have what it takes.  

I messaged Holly on Facebook at lunch.  I haven't talked to Emmanuel all day and don't really plan to.  Rip it off, just like a band-aid.  I made plans to go see Shyloh next weekend and I'm just going to forget all about him.  I didn't like how he invaded my brain and how I felt vulnerable so I just had to shut that DOWN.  Holly is a safer bet...she's sweet, and pretty, and fun to hang out with.  But I'll never be at her mercy.

I had another lazy day.  I'm not really sure what's going on with me.  I'm guessing it's a mild bout of depression setting in -- after all, it IS about the right time of year for that.  My energy at work doesn't seem diminished and my thoughts have not become negative.  I just don't feel like getting out of bed anymore until I have to -- but then, when it's time, it's not a struggle.  I guess I just don't see the point in doing the things I was doing before.  (Loss of interest in things that once gave you pleasure?  Decreased contact with friends and family?  Okay, yeah, but it could be worse.)

It is seriously COLD out there.  My teeth were chattering until I got onto the highway and my heat started to kick in.  I'm really trying to find the silver lining, but honestly, 80 and sunny sounds perfect right about now.  Oh well, I'll get through this winter just like I do every year.  Maybe this year will even be better than the last.  (Hmmm, reminds me of a Counting Crows song...)  Anyway it couldn't possibly be much worse.  Last year at this time, I was still tangled up in that mess AND living in a shelter with 6 or 7 crazy women and a curfew.  I just keep moving forward, eyes on the prize.

I'm hungry, I'm going to make some alphabet soup.  Later!

In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel,
Living in the garden of evil,
Screwed up, scared, doing anything that I needed,
Shining like a fiery beacon.
You got that medicine I need,
Fame, liquor, love, give it to me slowly.
Put your hands on my waist, do it softly,
Me and God, we dont get along, so now I sing...

No ones gonna take my soul away,
I'm living like Jim Morrison.
Headed towards a fucked up holiday.
Motel sprees, sprees, and I'm singing,
"Fuck yeah, give it to me, this is Heaven, what I truly want."
It's innocence lost.
Innocence lost.

In the land of gods and monsters, I was an angel,
Lookin' to get fucked hard.
Like a groupie, incognito, posing as a real singer,
Life imitates art.
You got that medicine I need,
Dope, shoot it up, straight to the heart, please.
I don't really wanna know what's good for me.
God's dead, I said, "Baby that's alright with me."

No ones gonna take my soul away,
I'm living like Jim Morrison.
Headed towards a fucked up holiday.
Motel, sprees, sprees, and Im singing,
"Fuck yeah, give it to me, this is Heaven, what I truly want."
It's innocence lost.
Innocence lost.

When you talk, it's like a movie and you're makin' me crazy,
'Cause life imitates art.
If I get a little prettier, can I be your baby?
You tell me, "Life isn't that hard."

No ones gonna take my soul away,
I'm living like Jim Morrison.
Headed towards a fucked up holiday.
Motel, sprees, sprees, and Im singing:
"Fuck yeah, give it to me, this is Heaven, what I truly want."
It's innocence lost.
Innocence lost.

Read more: Lana Del Rey - Gods And Monsters Lyrics | MetroLyrics