Today has been a pretty excellent day. I woke up and got my hair done, it looks so cute! She cut off the dead ends, touched up my roots, and put a few bright red streaks in it for me. I love it.
After my hair was done, I came back home and slept until it was time to go to work. Soooo, not much to report there. I did again have some really vivid and intense dreams. I love full moons for that -- they don't feel like normal dreams. I feel almost like I am actually in another world, that I am meeting up with old friends on the astral plane. I can actually FEEL the sensations and think with my conscious mind while experiencing the dream with my subconscious mind. I always feel that the veil is slightly parted during these times.
When I got to work, the silver hoop earrings I had ordered from Brenda had arrived, so I put them on and they completed my look. I felt beautiful again and that was a nice feeling. Things went really well on the phones and everyone in the group was acting crazy. It almost felt like a Friday, we were all laughing and joking around and just being silly. Thank goodness tomorrow IS Friday, though. I'm ready for a break. :)
I stopped in to the gas station yesterday before work and I saw a sign on the door that said, "Now hiring. 7.50 an hour". I remembered that it was only two years ago that I was begging for jobs like those -- something, ANYTHING. I couldn't make my house payment, couldn't afford to put gas in my car to bring my kids anywhere or get to class, couldn't buy toilet paper or mittens for my son or snowpants so he could play on the hill at his school. It was a miserable time and I was struggling so much -- to imagine that in two short years I went from that to this amazes me.
I realized how lucky I am to be making double the minimum wage, plus commission and benefits. I feel so blessed that I have tuition reimbursement, vacation time, sick time, paid holidays, and medical coverage. I think of all the things I can do now -- get my teeth fixed, go back to school, take time off for a family vacation. I have my own place and I pay rent on time. I don't have to alternate which bills to skip. I don't have to feel guilty for getting my hair done. I made this happen, and I'm so proud of me!
Of course, I acknowledge that the universe accomplished this THROUGH me, I'm not so arrogant as to think my actual ego accomplished anything. I know it's all a result of living in alignment and manifesting my happiness. It took work, but most of all, it took a change of thought pattern. Wayne Dyer is SOOOOO correct when he asserts that when you change your thoughts, you can change your life -- and I am testament to that fact.
Now that I'm here, what do I do next? The whole world stands open before me. Of course, my first goals are to get on a day shift and for my son to live with me again and to have more time with my daughter. Maybe her dad would even be open to joint custody -- anything is possible! I just need to remember that what I am today is a result of what I did yesterday, so what I am tomorrow depends on what I do today. I think now that I value the place I'm in right now, I'm more conscious of my behaviors and choices and more selective of the path I'm going to take.
It had to occur to me that I can do whatever I want -- no one is going to ground me, or forbid me, or give me extra chores. No one is going to send me to bed early (although that DOES sound nice sometimes!) or call my parents. I am free to make my own choices, but every action has a reaction, and some choices have consequences I'm unwilling to live with. I've come too far to sabotage my success for some impulsive fun. I've seen how destructive some things can be, and I choose not to do them because I value myself and my place in life more than I value the temporary thrill of excitement.
I remember the days when I used to party all night and sleep all day. Call in to work whenever I didn't feel like coming, let friends without driver's licenses drive my car, spend $600 on a Halloween costume, skip paying bills to buy booze instead, take impromptu trips to the strip club and walk home in the middle of the night, rent my basement to people I barely knew and couldn't trust, ride around downtown with a driver who wouldn't think twice to give a prostitute and her pimp a ride, travel around and sleep in 4 star hotel rooms and get room service while my kids spent the weekend with a friend or relative. I ask myself, was it worth it? Was I happy? Would I trade what I have now for that lifestyle? Not at all. Sometimes you get the opportunity to do and have everything you thought you wanted, just so you can realize that what you REALLY want is what you already had and failed to appreciate.
It's been a rough few years, but I can tell you one thing -- I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned, and I won't go back.
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