The Cosmic Couple

Oh. My. Goddess.  Soooooooooo, seriously, today feels magical and amazing.  There’s a certain feeling you get when you find another piece to the puzzle, when one more thing magically comes together.  I may be making too much of this, and I probably am.  My mood is pretty elevated and sometimes when I am in this state of mind, life feels positively fantastical and I see profound hidden meaning in everything.  I recognize that it may or may not actually be there, but what’s the harm?  If I want to feel like Joth and I are the reincarnated embodiment of the cosmic couple, really does it matter if I’m wrong?  And anyway, much of what we experience and interpret on this earthly plane is purely symbolic.  If you get a little deeper into things, we’re all everything anyway.  However you may want to look at it, I do believe we have loved each other many times through many lifetimes.  That’s special enough for me.  Heck, even just THIS lifetime is special enough for me. 

Okay, so you’re probably wondering what I’m blathering on about.  You see, we ordered the rings this morning.  We were discussing the date for the wedding, because we wanted it to be a significant date like an equinox, sabbat, or esbat.  I suggested that we choose a date later in February than originally planned so we’ll have our tax refund by then – money to spend on our honeymoon or any last minute expenses.  So when I ran a Google search, I discovered that Maha Shivararti is on February 25.  Then, I checked to see if it might possibly fall on a Saturday – it DOES!  So THEN, I googled Maha Shivararti to see exactly what it is.  This is where it gets even better – it is a celebration of the day the god Shiva married the goddess Parvati, his Shakti.  Of course, when I presented that information to Joth, he balked at being likened to Shiva.  He believes that I am the destroyer, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut for one, Parvati was split into two halves by Brahma – the light side, and the dark side – Kali.  Kali is most definitely a destroyer.  I believe that fits a little better, because for one, I’m a Gemini (duh) and for two, I’m not always in “destroyer” mode.  Also, um, I haven’t actually destroyed anything – a pen, a coffee cup, or a shower rod.  Hmmm.  But, not naming any names, I do know someone who HAS. 

For THREE, Shiva isn’t JUST a destroyer.  His anger isn’t for nothing.  When he feels it is justified, his anger can be intimidating (ahem), but on the other side of the coin, he is ALSO the dancing god.  I did some research, and he’s actually the ONLY Hindu god who views his wife as an equal.  They argue a lot, but he treats her with respect.  I read that in India, girls pray to Shiva that they may have a husband like him.  A lot of what I read does describe Joth, and just aligning ourselves with these archetypes and formalizing our union for this lifetime on that day seems perfect, and feels right, to me. 

Okay so enough of that ooooey gooooey fluffy bunny weirdo stuff, huh?  I filled Tristan’s prescription yesterday, YEAH.  The boys both had a snow day – we got hit pretty hard.  I also stayed home from work due to the weather, and so did Tom.  We had a relaxing day at home.  We watched Hotel Transylvania 2 with the boys and relaxed while they played video games.  I helped a little bit with making a snow monster with Joth and Austin, but I only had one glove and my hand got very cold.  Tristan’s shoes have holes in them so he stayed inside.  I keep forgetting to get him new ones.

Today was day 12 of the yoga challenge, still going strong!  I have lost a little bit more weight, which has really ceased to be the motivating factor anymore.  I feel better.  I have been pretty consistently happy.  Joth has been cuddly, which I find is something that can make or break my day.  Okay, not break it – if I choose to have a bad attitude about something external, it isn’t the external thing’s fault.  For that matter, even the fact that good things have the power to influence my day may not be completely wise, because if they are taken away and my happiness is tied to them, so goes that as well.  I’m a work in progress.

Things are going pretty well since last weekend, which I didn’t go into much detail about.  We had a pretty big fight last Saturday, and we both know that it seems to be a pattern.  We seem to fight every weekend.  Scott was over and we spent SIX HOURS doing an intensive relationship therapy session with him.  I feel like we should take him out as a way of showing thanks – he had some very helpful things to say.  We really want this to work and we are really trying to communicate better.  We’re far from where we want to be, but I have hope.  Because as long as we both want to be there, we’ll find a way to get there.  I believe that.