I don’t know how much time I have, but Tom went to get
cereal so here’s at least a little update.
I’ll try to just hit on the main points.
I didn’t get my tax refund, but I knew that might
happen. It went toward student loans
which defaulted, so that’s less debt I have now and probably an improved credit
score. So, I shall celebrate this. We’ll still be able to afford our wedding and
all that fun stuff. Speaking of which,
my dress has shipped and the rings will be coming shortly after! We just need to pick a location and put down
a deposit, and figure out what Joth is going to wear. We found this amaaaaaaazing suit, but it’s
from Germany and it’s like $2k. I am
wondering if there are people who could make a custom jacket based on the picture,
or if we could find something that looks like it for a little less. He would look so handsome in that suit….drooooooooooool…
Okay next order of business.
Tristan is suspended. Ughhhhhhh this
battle is draining me! I went through
all that with his insurance, got that straightened out, finally filled his
prescription, and the first day back on it he punches a kid and gets
suspended. ARRRGHHHHH. He says the other kid punched him first, but
even if that really happened, he knows what to do. I made an appointment with this ADHD clinic
near us, but they couldn’t see us today because of ANOTHER ISSUE WITH HIS
INSURANCE!!! I finally got Blair and
Rachel’s OFF, and they told me his new plan would start March 1 and until then
he’d have straight Medicaid. Well, the
clinic doesn’t take straight Medicaid and it turns out that his new plan doesn’t
start until APRIL 1. Wonderful. So this month, we have to really focus hard
and pull out all the stops to help at home.
Sleep, nutrition, meditation, I keep SAYING all of this and we have done
SOME. There are improvements. But I still need to hypnotize him, I still
want us all to meditate every day, and Tom is back so more later.
Okay well Tom finally left for the day and I’m still here for
another half hour or so, so I’ll try to finish what I was talking about. Uhhhhhh.
My brain isn’t working like it was earlier, so I’ll try to remember what
I was going to say. Hmmm. Uhh.
Erm.
Oh! I had my annual
visit with Sienna this past Sunday! I
brought her a craft set for little kids and a Shel Silverstein book. I wrote a poem on the inside cover as usual,
and we met at the same McDonald’s play place as usual. This time it seemed like Mike and Kelli were
a little less cordial, a little more standoffish. I could be imagining it, of course. However, I do know that they are more
conservative and religious than I am, and it’s entirely possible that something
on my Facebook triggered their disdain.
Then again, I don’t say anything mean, and by this point my thoughts and
beliefs shouldn’t really come as a shock.
They have a new baby and life is probably more hectic, plus everyone in
their house just got over being sick. So
I won’t jump to conclusions, after all they were nice enough to still do the
visit and bring Sienna to see me, so beyond that, their opinion of me is pretty
irrelevant.
Sienna was a little shy at first, which didn’t bother
me. She’s 3. But I didn’t know what to do when she kept
running to go play, then she’d run back to daddy, then run back to play and so
on and so forth. I wasn’t sure how to
start an interaction. I didn’t want to
force it, but we do this once a year and it’s only about an hour that I have
with her. Finally, Kelli asked her to
sit next to me and she didn’t want to, so she sat between them. I asked her if she wanted me to read to her
and she agreed, so I opened the Shel Silverstein book and read a few poems to
her across the table. She started
warming up and the next time she wanted to play, I asked her if she wanted me
to play with her and she said yes. We
went into the tree house and she was so cute!
We looked for the slide, which was up some stairs. The first time she was scared and wanted me
to go down first. The second time, she
wanted to stop on the stairs and chat.
But then we had to get up and go to the slide before those boys came
back. Then she wanted to sit on my lap
going down the slide.
We did this probably ten times, stopping to talk about stuff
on the stairs, then going down the slide.
When it was time for me to go, we went back to the table and she sat
next to me. Then she didn’t want to let
me out and said no when I told her I had to go, so I’d say she warmed up to me
pretty well and it made me happy to have had that time to spend with her. She is just so cute. Mike and Kelli told me she only has to hear a
song once and it’s memorized, which was the same way with Jewel at her age
except Jewel wasn’t verbal yet so she could only hum the tune. But she’d get all the notes exactly
correct. They also asked if insomnia was
genetic because apparently Sienna has a lot of trouble getting asleep and
staying asleep, and Kelli had seen on Facebook that my mom and I both struggle
with insomnia. Mom’s is worse than mine,
for sure. Tristan has it bad too, though. I didn’t want to say anything, and besides
she’s only 3, but it is one of the features of ADD so you never know…
Anyway, she’s starting “3 school” in the fall and dance as
well, so I’m really happy for her. I am
reassured of my choice and glad to see that she has the opportunities to
flourish and live a joyful life. It
still hurts a little sometimes, but the fact remains that none of the choices
available to me at that time would have been pain-free. This was the least painful one available.
Jewel and her dad are moving to Middleville! It’s way closer, it’ll be a 25 minute drive
to the halfway point rather than 45. I’m
glad that we may be able to spend more time together, I really feel like we
have drifted apart and it makes me sad.
When she’s at my house, she’s only concerned with Tristan and really
seems a little cold and indifferent toward me.
It doesn’t help that her dad talks crap about me to her, like how if I
cared about her I wouldn’t have moved so far away and that I’m
inconsistent. I’m not saying I AM
consistent, but I really love her and it is frustrating to be so unfairly
judged. I did the only thing I could do
after having Tristan back full time and losing daycare suddenly with no more
available absences due to Tristan’s ongoing behavior problems. My hands were so full, and I was so far from
any support. I had way more to deal with
than I could handle.
I’m really thankful that Joth is here to back me up and be a
father figure to Tristan right now. He’s
doing all the things I can’t do, and we’re a team presenting a united
front. He meets with the teachers and
principal, picks him up when needed, brings his pill to school if forgotten,
and stays with him if he is suspended.
He goes over tools and coping mechanisms with him, teaching and bonding
with him both. He doesn’t just ignore
him or stick him in a room like a pet, and he talks to him like he’s a real
person and his opinions matter. We are
all so blessed to have him in our lives and I try never to forget that.
Today was day 16 of the yoga challenge, rock on!!!! I did miss one day, but I got right back in
the groove the next day. Okay, I guess I
should get some work done.
Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeya.
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