Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall...




I haven’t blogged in a long time, so I’m going to try to get a quick post up while Tom is getting his lunch.  The cord for the computer had to be used for the router since we were having internet issues, so I can’t really blog at home until we get a new cord for the computer.  Of course, at the same time I’m trying to type this, I’m getting messages from Joth that Tristan is being a brat at school.  Ughhhh whyyyyyy.  I guess that’s a good place to start.

TRISTAN:

We had a meeting at his school with the social worker, special ed teacher, and his regular teacher.  She just left on leave since she adopted a baby.  They told us that the areas Tristan struggles in are unstructured time, specials (gym, art, music) and transition times.  So they asked Joth to be there during specials, which is every day from 8:30-9:30.  Tristan has done well with him there, but it’s just a temporary fix.  I mean, he can’t follow him around for the rest of his school life.  Thankfully, they have a half day tomorrow and then spring break starts.  We’re meeting with his psychiatrist for a med review next week, which is much needed.  Also, he starts therapy at the ADHD clinic.  And soccer soon, too.

WEDDING:

I told my mom and I told my sister, and I was both shocked and delighted that they are both really happy for us!  In fact, Heather and Matt plan to actually come!!!  I’m pretty sure my parents are, too.  This is amazing.  I could never have guessed!  Our rings will be here by April 20, so then we can make the big announcement.  We went to my sister’s for Easter and Blair was even supportive, and he was nice to me!  What a weird world this has become.  I like it, though!

WELLNESS CENTER:

We ran into a snag, but I’m confident we can overcome it.  We approached Larry (the husband of the woman who was running it who passed away) around the same time another holistic health center did.  Although we talked to Dave (the building owner) first and made arrangements to start leasing in April, when I contacted him to set up the meeting to finalize everything and make the payment, he informed me that he had also met with the other people and we should all figure this out together.  Larry wanted us to find a win/win, but they wouldn’t respond to any of my attempts to work something out with them.  I invited the girl out for coffee and had Larry give them our contact info, but I’ve had nothing but silence from them.  In the meantime, they’ve been emailing Larry is if it’s a given that they will be taking over.  He wants Joth and I to get it and he said he will advocate for us, but ultimately it will be Dave’s decision.  I guess what will be, will be.  If we don’t get it, this gives me that much more motivation to make it happen some other way in some other place.

RELATIONSHIP:

We’ve been doing really well still.  We had a few big blowups, but that really paved the way for deeper connection and understanding.  One Monday, I had a complete meltdown and threatened to burn my wedding dress.  The following Saturday, we went out to Elderberry with the kids and Joth totally lost it.  I’m not going to share his private details because he might not be comfortable with everyone knowing, but I was so scared and concerned for him.  It was a rock bottom moment.  I tried and tried to bring him back to love, but he just couldn’t receive it.  He was in some personal hell that I was unable to rescue him from.  I wonder if that’s what my episode had felt like to him?  Probably.

Upon discussing it the next day, we realized just how much we mirror and reflect each other.  He described it that way, like we are the same, and the only reason it looks different is that when our behavior is reflected back to us by our partner, it’s a different perspective than feeling it from the inside.  I looked up an article about twin flames and that’s actually a hallmark trait.  We are the same person.  It’s cool, but challenging!

Tom is back.  Adios!

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