Happy day after the new moon! I really wanted to post yesterday, but my
lady time came right on the new moon (awesome, right??!) and it hit me like a
sledgehammer. I feel much better today,
though! It’s nice to be back in sync and
regular. I think it’s a testament to the
overall positivity flowing through my life right now.
I’ve been continuing with yoga, but I’m not up to six days a
week yet. I am still making healthy nutritional
choices, and eating less. I read
something saying that if you eat some healthy fat and protein in the morning,
you won’t get that killer 3pm slump. I
tried eating a banana with almond butter for two mornings, and it really
worked! In fact, I didn’t have any
coffee on either of those days. I’ve
been sleeping well…okay, I’ve woken up at 3 am for probably the past week. But I’m not tired, so that doesn’t
matter. I was also having night sweats,
and I thought it was hormones, but I remembered that I had those after my reiki
master attunement. I just had the reiki
master teacher attunement, and I forgot about it. I guess I thought that because it was a
distance attunement that it wouldn’t really work. I was wrong!
Even when I’m happy, my mood can be very volatile –
especially before my period. I am very
easily triggered. Was. I was very easily triggered. I had a lot of insecurity, leading to
jealousy and paranoia. I know many of my
past partners probably think I was the opposite – not jealous at all. The fact is, I was so afraid of being abandoned,
so paranoid about being rejected, that I was uber jealous. Because any threat to my relationship was
terrifying. I was able to overcome that in
the only way I knew how, and that was by not caring. When I was with Dwight, I demanded an open
relationship because that way I could keep enough comfortable distance to keep
from caring too much. I never let myself
get too close, and in that way, I was able to have zero jealousy. But I didn’t trust him. I never trusted any man after Jay, until now.
I realize with amazement that two things are happening concurrently
that I never thought would: I trust a
man, totally and completely. And I am
not jealous. This is a huge step for me,
and I feel like more weights have been lifted off from me. I am shining more as my true self, less
dimmed by obstructive programming and distortions of my mind. In short, I am healing.
Speaking of healing, WE GOT THE HEALING CENTER!!!!!!!!! We sign the lease today. I am dizzy with excitement! It’s so perfect, and it happened at just the
right time! I’m taking my yoga teacher
training in August and I got the RMT attunement so I can already teach
reiki. I did, however, reach out to
Karen also about doing RMT with her in person.
(Reiki Master Teacher). We have
so much to do, but I’m delighted by it all!
We already have people contacting us who want to be involved. Another yoga teacher, a medium, someone who
teaches infant massage…and I’m going to contact the local bellydance teacher to
see if she would like to hold her classes there instead of at the church. Wahoo!
There are intimidating details I am trying not to get bogged
down by. I got the EIN, but I don’t know
what to do to take over the dba, how to register us as a partnership, etc. And we have to set up a bank account, get a
liability policy, get an accountant, get a website, get a phone number, update
all the signs….one step at a time, though.
Focus on the positive! We manifested
this in exactly 8 months, which was our intention from the beginning.
Our rings have been shipped, and we’re going to propose to
each other and make the announcement when we get them. Tristan starts soccer on the 18th,
or the 16th…whichever is a Saturday.
He meets with a therapist tonight, and yesterday his psychiatrist
doubled his doses of both meds. He is to
take a half a clonidine in the morning, and 1.5 at night. I hope this all helps! Also, Austin and Tristan are going to come do
yoga when Joth is teaching. There is so
much to say, and my mind is all over the place, and I’m sure I left out some
important stuff but this is exciting! We
have leveled up!!!!
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