I don’t think coffee is going to be able to touch this, but
I’m going to get some anyway. This is so
discouraging, considering how vibrant and alive I felt last week. L I didn’t even have the
energy/motivation/desire to make a smoothie today, or yesterday. I bet it would help, but the drive isn’t
there. I at least took a shower, but
that was more because I wanted some alone time than anything else. I find peace in the shower, where I don’t
have to be anyone or answer to anyone or do anything or run every action
through my mind before an approval committee in my head, run every sentence
through a filter before it can be spoken.
All of that is exhausting and in the shower I’m free of all that.
I fell asleep last night around 8:30 and I’m still
exhausted. It’s an unquenchable thirst,
a fatigue that no amount of sleep can rectify and no amount of coffee can
transcend. Let me reiterate though, I am
not sad. I am not anything. I’m too tired to be.
I ordered my wedding dress and I want to talk about that,
but I can’t right now. I’m too tired to
write this. I’ll put a picture though. More later, maybe.
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