I might have to change that picture. It will work for now, though. I'm doing yoga at 8 and I've been way too busy to blog for a while, so I decided to quickly check in here.
Exciting things happening! We are doing the sister sweat lodge again this year, ohhhhh yeah. Also, new moon circle on Thursday. I'm hoping to make it, but I signed up for a bunch of overtime again this week and I don't get out until 7. I might not feel up to it. Also, book club meeting coming up as well! It seems like everything gets put on hold for the summer, which is weird because that's the time you think you're going to have all this free time to see your friends, but it never happens. Then things settle down, the kids go back to school, and you get back into a social routine.
Big news for Jewel, too. She got her period today. I feel really old! She's just eleven!! I knew it was coming, though. She said she had gas cramps on Sunday, but I had a feeling. So I went and got her some pads and sent them home with Brian. Thankfully, he put one in her backpack and she apparently handled it well when it happened at school today. I was really worried about how she'd deal with it, but I had a lot of frank, informative conversations with her.
I try to be very matter-of-fact with the kids when it comes to body things and sex. I don't want them to feel like there's anything shameful about any of it. And I'm always honest with them when they ask -- in my world, storks do not bring babies and we do not call our penis a "wee-wee". Well of course, I don't have a penis, but you know.
Work is going okay, I'm happy to be earning a lot of extra money but I'm still feeling restless. I applied for 5 jobs at Farmers, which is much closer and would be a much less harrowing drive than the drive to and from Walker I endured last year. I cringe when I think about that. But, whatever happens, I'll make it work and I'll make it awesome. I am, however, setting my sights on something more. Something fulfilling. Something in line with my passion and my purpose.
I spent a lot of time doubting myself and questioning my self-worth. I want to pursue that which sets my soul on fire. I want to chase the dreams which ignite my heart. What is stopping me? What has ever been stopping me? I have so many excuses. Doubts. Reasons. Fears. Imaginary make-believe obstacles. Ganesh has been coming up a lot in a synchronistic way, so I feel like this is something I should pay attention to. A clue. At the very least, I could chant to Ganesh before bed for a while and see if it helps...everything I dream of is on the other side of the big scary pond called fear. What better way to cross that puddle than on the back of an elephant?
The amazing thing I want to do with my life is make the lives of other people amazing, and I think I'm putting the picture together piece by piece of what exactly that looks like. I was telling Joth earlier that it's like I'm putting together a puzzle. I'm not sure yet how each of the pieces relate to each other, or what it will look like when it's all connected. It's kind of exciting though to just follow this path and see where it takes me. Life is such an adventure. I'm so happy to be alive. :D
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