I am sitting here, marvelously failing at the commitment I made to do yoga every day for the rest of January. I started the 7th and did an entire week, 7 days consecutively. I was feeling pretty awesome, but my muscles felt like they were in a constant state of muscle fatigue. I am sure this comes down to nutrition. I used to do yoga six days a week and never felt that way, but I was nourishing my body with superfoods, fruits, herbs, supplements, and greens. I am going grocery shopping tomorrow. Fast food is over. I am preparing food again, healthy meals, and drinking my green smoothies every day again.
It's important, because if Tristan will be living here, he'll be getting the majority of his nutrition here. His health, mood, attention, and success at school are all directly linked to the foods that go into his body. Dollar menu and frozen pizzas are not optimum choices for his best success, and because I love him -- and myself -- I'm renewing my commitment for health.
That means getting back on the wagon with yoga, because I fell off. No biggie, it happens. I learned an important lesson. I should just do it right now, but I don't feel like it, and I'm making excuses and grasping at straws but hey...we'll say that it's because it's Saturday and since Saturday is an Ashtanga "off" day, I should probably start tomorrow. Yeah, that would really be better.
What happened was, Joth came over and I had not done yoga that day. I had only done my sun salutations the day before in an effort to keep my word but rest my muscles a bit. So I knew I couldn't skimp again. But, it takes an hour to get through the series, and I had a guest, and it was after 1 AM, and he must have been so bored sitting there on the couch waiting patiently for me to finish. And yeah, I felt a bit self-conscious also. I tried to block it out, but FUCK -- he's a YOGA TEACHER. And I've never been in a yoga class, EVER, and I'm doing all this in front of him. Unnerving -- and not because of him at all. On the contrary, he's actually very supportive and encouraging. He doesn't point out all the things I'm doing wrong or sneer in disdain. So he's wonderful, it's just me. I mean, this is the whole reason I don't GO to yoga class. I feel weird about being seen.
So I went to start Utthitta Hasta Pagangusthasana -- it's the one where you are standing, pick up your leg, and grab your big toe. I have varied results with this pose. I notice that some days, I barely wobble. Other days, I keep falling before I can get the full 5 breaths. Usually I fall somewhere in the middle -- a little wobbling, no falling. But Joth was here. And when I even THINK about someone POSSIBLY watching me, I instantly fall. I know this. So, I decided to stop, but my body still craved some backbends. Chakrasana always makes me feel soooooooo gooooooooood. It is, honestly, my FAVORITE part of the series. Not necessarily the back bends, but the heavenly bliss of the forward fold which follows. Divine. Anyway, so long story short, I thought it would be a smart idea to skip right to wheel, my body wasn't properly warmed up, I JACKED up my back. Like, BAD. It hurt for days. I'm a dumbass.
But, what this has taught me is that some things in life give us pleasure because of what came before them, what we had to do to "earn" them, the work we put in to achieve them. Sometimes, essential steps can not be skipped because they add to the beauty and enjoyment of the end result. If you skip right to the end result, it will be lacking. You will either not be prepared for it, or you won't appreciate it because you didn't work for it which in turn lessens your enjoyment. Just like that forward fold -- do you suppose it would feel as sublime if I skipped all the backbends and went right to it? Not bloody likely!
So, the cat totally just unplugged the computer. Thankfully this thing auto-saves. Joth and I picked out a cat and she's sooooooo cute! Her meow is like this little squeak, she's shy at first but very affectionate and funny when she warms up. She doesn't like being picked up, though. She's black and white and we named her Artemis StarFire Andrews-Kacos. Her nickname is Dot...hahaha, that's a story for another day. I've been yammering on for quite some time already. Here's a picture of her though!
Awwwww. She likes to sit in between Joth and I -- so she's like the "dot" in each side of the yin yang. You see? Because she's got the white part, and the black part.
I know I did an entry about Tapas, discipline. This is not exactly the same thing. This is something more specific. This is making a commitment to do something for a period of time, like lighting a candle and immediately blowing it out every night before bed for 90 days. I got that from this article, which states that even if it's something as simple and small as that, you will notice yourself begin to make excuses.
Iyengar said that, "Sadhana is a discipline taken in pursuit of a goal." So really, any 30 day challenge could be a sadhana. I am making a full moon cycle commitment. New moon to new moon. The new moon doesn't come until Tuesday but there are no rules against getting a head start. There will be no days off, but I will allow myself to do just the sun salutations if the need arises for a "break".
This article states that there are three aspects to sadhana -- choice, commitment, and aspiration.
Sadhana
It is supposed to contribute to accelerated spiritual evolution. I know from back when I started my first 30 day yoga challenge almost a year ago that this is undoubtedly true. I'm excited to see where it will take me this time!
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