I'm just going to be honest, I may never get around to talking about bulletproof coffee. See, what happens is, I formulate a topic in my mind that I plan to blog about. I pick a title related to that topic, and usually a picture describing it. Sometimes, though, I go off on so many little rabbit trails that I never end up even talking about what I intended to say. So, with that in mind, let's begin. :)
Artemis loves yoga, by the way. That's why I picked that picture. She sat on my mat and purred the whole time, never a care in the world or a worry that I may squish her. I was flattered that she had so much trust in me, but doubtful as to whether I deserved it. I was a little extra wobbly in the balancing poses for fear of falling on her, and had to get creative in my transitions, but we were both okay. Of course, when I finally got to Savasana, THEN she went and laid on the couch.
It felt good to do it. I almost talked myself out of it, but I really needed it. I paid close attention to the way my back is stretched in the poses preceding Chakrasana. Poses that you think are related to one part of the body can surprise you with their impacts on other parts. For example, the Marichyasanas. You think it's all about the legs, but when you have a sore back and reach forward for your foot, you feel the side back stretch. Yes, I know that's a very technical term and I don't mean to confuse you with jargon.
Hahaha, I can feel the muscle I'm referring to, but I don't know what it's called. It's not along the spine, up and down like, but reaching OUT from the center to the waist. Does that make sense? Does it matter? Anyway, that's the part of my back that I hurt. Now that it's a bit tender, I notice how in so many of these poses that I THOUGHT were about OTHER parts of my body, I'm subtly affecting others (such as the side back muscle) without realizing it. It's a testament to the ripple effect, I think. We may have direct contact or interaction with one thing, but we indirectly influence many others. Nothing is isolated. The thigh bone's connected to the, knee bone; the knee bone's connected to the, shin bone...
SO GOOD NEWS. Like, best EVER news. I've decided to look at every situation with gratitude, no matter what it is. To focus on the good in it. I have had that mindset before, and to be sure it still runs in the background but voices of fear and anxiety sometimes drown it out. I have to reconnect with it.
Anyway, so it sucks that I'm going to be on nights and Tristan has to go to daycare 2nd shift. But does it? The Universe works in mysterious ways. I mentioned how he is having terrible behavioral issues that no one has seemed to be able to find a way to resolve for him. We can't figure out the cause, which makes seeking resolution a near impossibility. BUT, I met with the daycare lady today. She happens to be the only 2nd shift daycare lady in the area, and she happens to have just one 2nd shift opening. It turns out that she has a degree in child psychology and originally planned to become a child psychologist but had children of her own and opened a daycare center. So she is very aware of, and focused on, how things impact children mentally and what the best methods are to interact with, teach, and understand children. She is really looking forward to working with Tristan and I'm so excited that he'll have this opportunity. I don't plan to be on second shift forever, but while I am, this could really be a benefit to him.
I got all my grocery shopping today, and I did okay. I could have done better and I could have bought less, but I'm congratulating myself because I didn't abandon my cart, I didn't get a whole bunch of stuff I don't need, and I didn't spend a ton more than what I budgeted. And I DID get most of the things I DO need.
I also got money orders for rent, car insurance, phone bill, and daycare. I paid my cable bill and my electric bill. I spent more on bills than I used to MAKE in TWO MONTHS at Velvet Touch. I may not enjoy the nature of my job, but I DO enjoy the money. And while I am working here, I can use it to my benefit and invest in myself and my children, giving us great start until I'm making a living doing something I love more. This doesn't mean I'm putting OFF doing what I love. That is of utmost importance no matter if it's my career or not.
I finally have the confidence to set up a web page for my natural beauty products, reiki, and tarot. Soon I'll have other stuff to add to it like hypnotherapy, but it's a start. I can sit here all day and all night blabbing about what I wish I was doing, but until I start taking steps that will take me in that direction, it's all just dreaming. I think I finally feel okay with it because I don't feel selfish anymore, it's necessary to care for my child now. That changes everything, I don't feel like "Who is she to deserve a better life". Hmmm, there are still some issues there. I have to dig deep into this core of unworthiness and just be awesome.
Yup, it's about that time. I was going to talk about the Paradigm Shift Radio chat tonight, which was LOVELY (all about practical tips for being awesome) and also bulletproof coffee, and predictably I didn't. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not. We shall see!
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