I know you probably think I'm going to get all political here -- I'm not. This is bigger than taking sides! Right now my brother is so incredibly pissed off at me, when I came to pick up Tristan and knocked on the door they literally let me stand out there in the cold pretending they never heard me. Even though the dogs were barking at the door. Even though I cleared my throat and coughed and everything. And for WHAT? Because my brother is a police officer and I had the audacity to make a post on Facebook about how I feel that a police officer who KILLS someone should be held accountable by the standards of the law he is supposed to enforce.
This isn't "fuck the police". This isn't "us vs. them". This isn't cops and robbers, cowboys and indians (wow I just realized how politically incorrect that one was, sad -- my mom always used to tell us "go play cowboys and indians"), red against blue, home vs. away or WHATTHEFUCKEVER. How about this is ME on the side of US? Just because I don't think it's okay for a cop to kill somebody doesn't mean I want people to kill cops! Just because I don't think people should be waterboarded doesn't mean I think people should be beheaded! What kind of fucked up logic is this? What is this world coming to? Why are we obsessed with creating these LINES and dividing into TEAMS, and to show support for our fellow man is automatically interpreted to mean we are against his imagined enemy? STOP!!!!
I think we should all love each other. I'm not gullible and naive, I know that this will not always happen. Change, pain, suffering, and conflict are part of our existence on this earthly plane. But they are intended to be lessons. Catalysts. Not a way of life. They are not intended to be excused...we don't escape the karma of our actions just because imperfection is a part of humanity. Of course it's in our nature to fuck up. And then, through the CONSEQUENCES of us fucking up, we become a little more enlightened. This is the only way through.
Now I'm trying to connect this to a concept I was studying with ayurveda about the gunas -- tamasic, rajasic, and sattvic. Tamasic is like the sluggish, earth, low vibration energy. Meat is a tamasic food. It contributes to our least evolved state. Laziness. Rajasic is dynamic, moving, changing, burning. It is fire. I thought at first that raja would be the ideal state, since it is so motivated and making things happen. But it can be chaotic. While raja is necessary to transform tamas to sattva, it isn't a balanced state to remain in. It is also unstable. And you can't maintain things at that high level for long periods of time, it leads to burnout...right back to tamas. Put too much fire and energy into your undertakings and the pendulum swings back to lazy and unmotivated. And of course, sattva is the light, ethereal, conscious, enlightened state. Tamas is black, rajas is red, sattva is white.
So, fucking up can be rajasic. It can assist in our transformation and our enlightenment. But it is through the fallout and chaos of our negative choices that we come through back to sattva. What I'm trying to say is, nothing is "bad" but some things are not "okay". Do you know what I mean? Everything happens for a reason and each thing serves its purpose, but there IS still such a thing as wrong and right -- negative karma, positive karma, and neutral karma. It doesn't maybe depend so much on the actual action, but rather the intent behind it. Actions can not simply be grouped so neatly in black and white boxes labeled "good" and "evil". Not even killing. This is the problem I have with the ten commandments.
You can't label a specific action, because in certain circumstances the same action that is "evil" could be "good" and vice versa. So yes. We "should" all be sattvic, but then again if we all existed in that state constantly every day, what would be the point of being here? Things fluctuate, and change, and opposites give rise to one another and all of this life is little more than the interplay of opposites.
Samkhya philosophers say that life exists for the purpose of acquiring experience and knowing the Self. The gunas are meant to facilitate this spiritual endeavor. They reveal, conceal, and stir us up—all for the purpose of drawing us closer to purusha, the knower. Krishna, the voice of the knower, sums up this relationship (in verses 14.19–20) with a lofty description of life’s goal—one in which ego identification with the activities of the gunas is transcended altogether. Though challenging, this millennia-old teaching continues to inspire seekers today:
I got very off-track. Anyway, I am losing my patience for the division, categorizing, separation, competition. I long to return to unity. Inside I scream for each man and woman to recognize our interconnectedness and stop turning against our own sisters and brothers because that is as ridiculous as the cells in our bodies turning against one another, for they are ALL part of the SAME organism! Do you think that doesn't apply to US too?????? The microcosm IS the macrocosm!
I came today, though, to talk about my newfound sense of (scattered) motivation. It's kind of manic, except I can't really tell because I have been very sleepy at the same time. I think I'm mildly sick though, and it doesn't help that I haven't been nourishing my body correctly with the right foods or doing yoga as regularly as I should. However, I feel like taking on the WORLD! Of course, I very nearly spread myself too thin and I need to remember not to do that. I want to learn hypnotherapy, take bellydance classes, sign up for a year of unlimited yoga at Seva so I can do my yoga teacher training next year, start a paradigm shift community, get involved in the great lakes stewards thing, and start selling some natural beauty products. BUT if I attempt to take on this huge load right now while I'm HIGH and I've got energy to spare, I'll end up feeling...ten of wands. Overburdened and overwhelmed when I come down. Best to take a prudent pace.
There was this little corner store right here on main street in wayland. It was for sale for the longest time, and it was during the time of my reiki classes. I would drive by it longingly, seeing the sign saying "any income" but not really thinking it really meant ANY income and doubting that I could swing such a lofty goal of opening up a shop, on my budget. Ohhhhh but it's such a perfect little shop. I would imagine doing reiki and tarot readings there. Having yoga classes, selling books and crystals. My imagination took me to fantastic places but I never made a move. Anyway, now somebody finally bought that store -- but they're doing an artisan's market, and there is a phone number posted to get in contact in case you want to have a booth! I don't know what all that entails, but I'm calling the number.
Well, it's four. Time to make some pizza for the kids. :)
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