Honestly, I was confused. I definitely wasn't speeding -- I had been going maybe 40-45 on the highway, which was pretty much in line with everyone else. I hadn't been swerving, but even if I had, the roads were slippery. Anyway, I pulled over. When the officer got to my window, he told me my headlight was out. FUCK, that's right, I knew that. That happened when I ran over that dead deer on the highway, and now because my stupid ass didn't fix it...
...driving on a suspended. Yeah, that's right. My license is fucking suspended! Not only that, but I didn't even have a copy of my car insurance (which it seems like I never DO when I get pulled over) so I could have been looking at my car being towed, spending the night in jail, and a $500 no proof of insurance ticket. Luckily, the officer was really nice. At least I have that going for me -- I get pulled over every now and then, which sucks, but at least when I do, I get a cop with compassion. I'm not saying I should have gotten away with it, I'm just grateful that he took pity on me.
I called Jason to come get my car, but he was drunk. I didn't know anyone else who would be up at that time, and my phone died while I was sitting in the back of the cop car. I burst into tears. The officer reassured me that everything would be okay and we'd figure it out. Long story short, he took me to Brian's, where I pounded on the front door at 4 a.m. and woke Brian up, then TOOK Brian to my car so he could drive it back. That guy was so nice. It's too bad we had to meet in the circumstances we did...he was actually kind of cute, too. ;) Yeah, right -- can you imagine ME dating a COP? Hahahaha....
I have to keep driving, though. There's nothing I can do! I don't get paid until next Friday, at which point I am going to fix that stupid headlight and pay off that damn ticket. Rent is going to be late, but I'll be okay. Besides, I get a commission check January 17. I can get by until then. It's just too bad that this is all happening during the holidays. *sigh*
So ANYWAY, in other news...I got my new shift last night! I'm so excited, I'll be working 8-5!!! I didn't get weekends off, but none of us newbies did. At least I got consecutive days off, though -- Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Immediately I emailed Rachel to let her know my plan. She probably won't reply, but this is what's going down whether they cooperate or not. I told her that at our next guardianship review in March, I am going to propose that Tristan either return home immediately or begin the transition, to be completed by summer break. I informed her that I will find and pay for daycare when summer comes, and if they'd like to have him the weekends he's not with his dad, they may. I also told her that Sue offered to advocate for me as necessary -- I brought it up just to point out that if they give me pushback, I'm prepared to fight, and I have people on my side. So don't try to fuck with me.
You know, we tend to categorize people as all good, or all bad. All right, or all wrong. In reality, I see that even "bad" people are good sometimes, and even "wrong" people are right about some things. I was thinking about this before I got pulled over last night as I celebrated my joy at the very real possibility of getting my son back. I have finally realized that my children are the most precious things (people) in my world. I thought back to how Noe would always tell me that they would be the only ones who stood by my side when no one else did. That my kids are the only ones who will always be there for me, and I need to put them first and not take them for granted because they're all I have. He was right. I did sort of a shitty job with them before, and I'm glad I have a chance to be the mother they always deserved.
I just got done at the dentist (again), they cleaned under my gums this time. They numbed it and gave me the nitrous so I didn't really care. Man, I remember getting nitrous as a kid -- I think that would have to count as my first experience with mind-altering substances. My dentist called it the "space mask" and I freaking LOVED it! I remember feeling like I was flying, just floating in space like a spaceman. I wish I could just feel that relaxed on command -- I'd never have trouble falling asleep. Anyway, next week Tuesday I get my front tooth fixed and my cavities filled! YIPPEEEEE! Oh yeah, and I went to the eye doctor yesterday and they ordered my contacts. So, I get to ditch these glasses next week too. Life is pretty awesome. :)
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