Yesterday, I had my first chaider of the season. It was delicious! In case you don't know, chaider is chai tea and apple cider mixed together. It's autumn in a steaming, spicy cup! Believe it or not, Biggby coffee had never heard of it before. I guess it's more of a local coffee shop thing, something the chains haven't caught onto. Who knows? Maybe next year it'll be on Biggby's fall menu. :)
My son had a bad day at school today. I was concerned about this because of what happened. After he saw N drag me out of the bedroom by my hair Saturday morning, he was showing his butt out on the porch. For some reason, when he acts out it's often with inappropriate touching or showing body parts. This distresses me because this day and age, even a six year old can get charged with sexual harassment. The kid needs counseling. Anyway, my sister in law texted me today and apparently he had his weenie out at school. He's meeting with the social worker right now. I told her this hasn't happened since last year -- right after he saw the exchange between my ex-husband and I. Eventually the inappropriate behaviors tapered off, and I'm very discouraged that he's doing it again.
I know what you're thinking. Yes, my ex-husband has a domestic assault charge against me. Before him, my son's father got one. No, I'm not just frivolously pressing charges -- somehow, I really keep ending up with these guys, or in these situations, over and over again. WHY? I didn't call the police on either of the last two. With my son's dad, my nose was broken so I went to the med center and they called the police on my behalf. I told them I didn't want to press charges, but apparently Michigan is a zero tolerance state for domestic abuse so they did it anyway. With my ex-husband, the next serious relationship, a neighbor heard me screaming and called the police. Now how funny is that, in both cases I had slapped him first and didn't believe either of them deserved to go to jail. I started it, right? I provoked them. Yet they were taken away. Now, I am CHOKED for NO REASON, and no one will do anything because I bit him in self-defense. What the hell? Life is funny sometimes.
My heartburn has returned, but I'm not surprised. I eat when I'm under stress and I've been putting away the groceries lately. At least I've made the connection -- eat too much, get heartburn. Eat less, it goes away. Now if only I could find the discipline to eat less. The baby has been moving around a lot more, or at least I can feel it more. It is starting to kick pretty hard, too. I have to reschedule my ultrasound because I'll be working on Tuesday. I'm also going to contact the Salvation Army's prenatal clinic about this support group they have called Circle of Care. I still haven't honestly decided whether or not I'm going to keep the baby -- one day I'll be convinced that adoption is the best choice, and other days I can't see myself giving up my baby. I hope I can find some discernment on the matter soon. They have a meditation group at the Zen Center, it sure wouldn't hurt to join.
The only thing that makes me sad about leaving him is his family. His sister is really cool and we've been getting closer over the last few days. She's even taught me how to cook a few Mexican dishes, and I'm really proud of myself for catching on. However, she does love her brother and is 100% convinced that he only does what he does because I push him. Well, with his sister validating his desire to place the blame elsewhere, how is he going to accept responsibility for HIS choices? He doesn't need her help to find a scapegoat. It's just going to make it that much harder for him to realize that he is responsible for his own actions and his mistakes are no one's fault but his own.
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