I'm not feeling very articulate today, but I'm going to blog anyway. I'm 23 weeks along as of today; my baby is as long as an ear of corn and weighs about a pound. Nothing new is really going on with me at this stage of the pregnancy.
The shelter called me today and I move in at 6 tomorrow! I was just getting ready to go stay with my grandparents until December, too. They live about an hour north. This is good timing because my sister is bringing her baby home today -- he was born on Thursday (2 weeks early) and weighs just 5 pounds 11 ounces. He's tiny but precious -- and he has a lot of hair! Last night, my sister in law came over to my sister's house and we made some food to freeze so the new parents don't have to worry about cooking for a few days. I also told my sister if she ever wants me to come over and clean or cook or help out in any way, I'd be glad to. I'm very thankful that she let me stay there for the last week. Besides, I know what it's like to be a new mom and I know she'll probably be exhausted and overwhelmed.
The adoption agency also called me back. They got my forms and just wanted to let me know that someone will be contacting me in a few days. Although N said that I have his support no matter what I decide to do, he has been acting like this just isn't happening. Maybe denial is his way to cope, but I think in the end it will hurt more. I keep trying to think of this baby as belonging to someone else. If I keep thinking of her as MY baby, then suddenly have to abruptly transition to NOT my baby, that will be pretty traumatic for me. If I start getting used to the idea now, the blow may not be as harsh when the time comes for her to go with her family.
I have been attacked for my decision, which I expected. This isn't about anyone else right now, not even me. This is about my baby and I don't really care if no one else understands -- I know in my heart that I am doing the right thing. I was reading some statistics on private adoption and was amazed at how wrong some of the ignorant assumptions are that people make. For example, nearly 3 out of every 4 adopted children ages 0-5 are read to or sang to every day, compared with only half of non-adopted children who receive the same attention from their biological parents. Furthermore, well over half of all adopted children eat dinner with their families at least six days per week. "The adoption statistic shows that over 90 percent of adopted children ages 5 and older have positive feelings about their adoption. Most adopted children are raised in happy homes by loving adoptive parents, so why would an adopted child hate his birth parents, the ones who provided him with a great life and his mom and dad?" (http://www.americanadoptions.com/pregnant/adoption_stats)
Monday, I am going to my friend's womb wellness sister circle. They get together on the new and full moons to celebrate sacred femininity and be a source of support for one another. I joined the circle and attended the first meeting, but since then I've been...away. I'm ready to be back and I really need this. I need to get back in touch with my feminine power, and besides, I could really use the companionship of strong, like-minded women. I'm excited.
Well, that's all I have to say for now because I have to go get my daugher. Ciao!
No comments:
Post a Comment