Yeah, except no. I hurt so BAD. I hurt so much that I didn't even want to blog, except that I haven't posted in a few days and I felt the need to update. (Masochist) Nah, it's just that I like keeping regular records of what's going on in my life so I can look back and read old entries and appreciate how much progress I have made.
I watched a YouTube video about that today, about bridging the gap. It was about four minutes, one of these videos that gets sent to my email about the law of attraction, chakra balancing, and myriad other new agey self help topics I really dig and find helpful. Anywho, this video didn't teach me anything new -- it just reaffirmed the value of my current practice of bridging the past gap. What that means, the man explained, is that most of us have a goal in mind. We strive toward that goal, telling ourselves WHEN this happens, THEN I will be happy. Our happiness is put on hold in anticipation of reaching that goal. Except when we DO reach that goal, we set a new one. And once again, delay our happiness until THAT goal is reached. The end result is that we are always waiting to accomplish the next thing, waiting indefinitely to be happy.
This video suggested looking back two years ago in our lives and appreciating the progress we have made. To be happy and victorious over the obstacles we have overcome and the successes we have achieved. The main key, the man said, is gratitude. Gratitude for everything we have now that we didn't have then. Everything we know now that we were ignorant of in the past. The key is to be grateful for how far we have come, and to allow ourselves to be happy NOW. If not now, then when? And then, of course, it is still acceptable to set goals. It's okay to want more, but it's almost sacrilegious not to be thankful for what we already have. If we aren't happy with what we have now, what makes us think that having more would make a difference?
I have been focusing a lot on gratitude, and I really feel like it is continually allowing the flow of abundance into my life. My day started off to a rough start. I was running late for work and I was afraid I'd get fired -- the highway was closed going north, the roads were icy, and traffic was backed up in town for about a half hour. Still, in that moment, I managed to be grateful. I accepted that I would be late and let it go, focusing on the beauty of the snow. I got to work and was so lucky to be let off with a warning. I remembered to be thankful for that. Then, my first call was my best one yet! The night ended with another first, a customer compliment. You can't let little failures and disappointments get you down, I learned. You always keep your head up so you can see the next blessing coming your way.
I don't want to be negative or focus on the bad, but life isn't ALWAYS sunshine and rainbows. The downside to my night is that I hurt so very, incredibly, unbelievably bad. Everyone at work thinks I have the flu, but I honestly think this is the worst case of arthritis I could ever have imagined. My mind thinks I'm 20, but my body feels like it's 80. My knees and my hips are radiating some excruciating pain and I am in complete agony. Still, though, I told myself that I am grateful to HAVE legs. I'd be lying if I said I'd love them more if they didn't hurt, though. Is it the sub-zero weather? Will I be on a steady diet of Ibuprofen all winter? Is there any relief? Yoga is supposed to be the wonder cure for all that ails you, except I wonder if it is actually aggravating my aches and pains. I don't want to stop, but I need to do some research on natural ways to combat this.
The weekend, though, was great! I got to hang out with the kids and we had a lot of fun. We had a dance party, played restaurant, and watched movies with popcorn. One movie we watched, Turbo, actually made me tear up a little. The message was great, too -- no dream is too big, and no dreamer too small.
I ordered some of their Yule presents and explained winter solstice to them a little better than I did last year. Instead of taking the "Us vs. Them" mentality (the pagans had their holidays and the Christians came and stole them from us, JERKS!) I decided that I wanted to cultivate a more tolerant, compassionate attitude in my children. Even though this may not be exactly what happened, I chose to tell them that ancient civilizations used to celebrate winter solstice, the shortest night of the year. After that day, the sun "came back to life" and grew stronger and stronger every day, making for longer and longer days until midsummer. Then, after Jesus was born (which happened probably in April) they decided to celebrate his birthday around the same time of year so that everyone could celebrate their holidays together at the same time.
It might not be entirely accurate, but I discovered that for quite a few years I held quite a chip on my shoulder toward all Christians in general. I have realized that they are all just people, like everyone else. There are some good and some bad. Any belief system can be used for good or for bad, and as long as it empowers you and makes you feel close to the source, we should honor and respect each other on our individual path. The people I have met at work have really contributed to my change of heart. Mike, Lori, Brian, and Brenda are all Christians. Yet they would be the first to help anyone who needed it, out of the pure kindness of their hearts. They are all so kind and positive.
Brian invited anyone in the class who didn't have a place to go for Thanksgiving to his house. Brenda is always going out of her way to put a smile on someone else's face, whether by buying someone the pop tart she saw them eyeing in the vending machine or offering to share her lunch. Mike tonight, out of the blue, offered to give me his extra Christmas tree -- the kids are going to be so happy! How did he know to ask me? How did he know I didn't have one? Our differences don't matter to me, and they certainly don't seem to matter to them. How ignorant of me to assume that they would judge me for being different when I was the one judging all along. I guess it's true that the advice we give most to others is often the advice we should be heeding ourselves.
I figured out what the kids and I are going to do for gifts this year, and it's going to be awesome! I'm so excited! The next time I have them, we are going to go to one of those paint your own pottery places. You choose a piece, paint it, and they fire it up for you to be ready in a week. Soooo, we are going to do cookie jars. THEN, we are going to fill them with homemade cookies! I am also working on some poetry and found a few good books for sale on the Hay House website. If it weren't for the snow, I'd be loving this holiday season!
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