It's a wonderful night. I had counseling before work, which really set the stage. Sue taught me the Adhi mudra, which is both thumbs tucked loosely into your fists which rest palm down on your thighs. It is for stillness, and it made an amazing change in my demeanor. Maybe not as drastically as the mudra we did at my last session, but I was much calmer to begin with this time than I was that time. I explained to her that my energy has been low and she explained that the barometric pressure is low and that most people are feeling similar. That made me feel better, I was worried about an impending bout of depression.
She also went over left nostril breathing with me, which she recommended to help me calm my nerves when I start to experience anxiety. I felt like I got a lot out of today's session and left there feeling ready to take on the world -- but in a calm, Zen kinda way. I talked to her about Emmanuel and expressed my concern that, since he has not officially broken up with his girlfriend in Florida, I was uneasy feeling like I would never know where I stand with him. She replied, "Well, you kinda DO." Yeah, she's right. I totally do. I guess I'll consider that a bullet dodged.
Speaking of him, today is the second day I completely ignored him. At about 9:45 he texted, "I get the hint. Good luck in life." I texted back, "Would you have preferred an explanation?" If he says yes, I am going to reply, "Yeah. Most people do." He supposedly thinks he's doing this chick a favor by not hurting her and breaking up with her. I'm trying to illustrate that when it happens to you, you aren't so grateful for that "favor". I can't date a man who doesn't have the cojones to be real with somebody.
Work was fantastic! I was barely nervous at all when I got there, totally ready to get on the phone, and feeling confident. I took three calls and they all went great. I was just so anxious yesterday, but today it was like a night and day difference. I am actually excited to go to work tomorrow and get on the phone by myself. Let's DO this!
I paid for my spot at the November 30 sweat lodge women's retreat thing with some of the girls from the sister circle, so it's official. I am so excited!! Here's the info:
3) Bring two or three towels you don't mind getting dirty, an old robe is great, some paper and pen, a water bottle, and some work gloves if you want as we carry rocks and build the fire together. Please don't wear any kind of perfume as this get's strong in the sweat lodge!!
4)You are also encouraged to bring a symbol of something that you want to empower in your life right now and a symbol of something you want to release. You will be able to place it on the little nature alter outside of the renewal sweat. This has really been meaningful to women when they bring it home with them and can stay connected with the energy.
5) The renewal sweat ceremony takes place outdoors in the evening. It is a dome shaped structure with a pit in the center to hold hot rocks that are placed in there after we go in. Many women enjoy going in without any clothes as it is completely dark in there once the flap to the doorway is closed. I encourage all women to do what feels comfortable to them - bathing suit, towel, terry wrap...whatever.
Yeah, I'm totally going naked. :) Let's see, what else...oh! So I was driving home tonight and had the exquisite pleasure of jamming out to Jimi Hendrix. I thought, "How lucky am I to catch Purple Haze on the way home?" Then I just started thinking of how lucky I am in general. I remember, not even 3 months ago, hanging out in this apartment with no furniture and no TV. Sitting on the floor with the kids to eat, sharing a twin size air mattress that never stayed inflated throughout the night, hanging out in my car in the McDonald's parking lot to use their WiFi so the kids could play games on my phone. It seems like so long ago! Now I have a table, couch, chairs, computer with desk, cable, internet, and beds for the kids. This is so great! Things are really coming together. I appreciate it all the more because I've really had to work for it and I've been impoverished both financially and emotionally. Everything seems to be flourishing now and I'm really so grateful.
Hey, happy 3:33! I should get some beauty sleep. Hasta manana!
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