I have had a transformative experience. I have been blessed with the continual flow of abundance and happiness into my life, and it amazes me to watch each part of the journey unfold. I really feel like I am manifesting my dreams, and it feels so good to feel like I am living intentionally. I am consciously choosing my future with every decision I make, and I feel so empowered.
So, check this out. Remember last week when I was late for work? The highway going North was closed, so I got on South instead and consulted my GPS. It took me on some back roads and side streets to get back to 131 North, but on the way, I passed a structure which looked like a Buddhist temple. I told myself I'd remember the name, but I forgot about it. After the sweat last night (which I'll definitely explain in more detail shortly), I felt like I synched right up to the universe. I wasn't even to the highway yet and I started thinking about the vegan coconut bars Maria had made. I remembered how they were delicious, but they hurt my teeth. That thought reminded me of my dentist appointment on Monday...then, BAM, I'm passing a sign that says, "Dentist" in front of a dentist's office at that very moment. Then, I got on the highway and thought about how sweaty I was. I laughed to myself as I remembered Juliea saying that it would be funny if they got pulled over, all sweaty and in their robes on the way home. Just then, a police car passed me. Crazy, right?
So anyway, this morning I slept in too late and didn't do the 5k. I was waiting for my mom to get to her house and got on the computer to kill some time. I was reflecting on last night, how I had placed my mala beads on the altar to be blessed. Just then, I remembered that temple I had passed on Monday and decided to google it. Yes, there is a Buddhist temple, not even ten minutes away from me, right here in Wayland. They have Zen meditation on Sunday nights from 5pm to 7pm and all are welcome. I was overcome with awe and gratitude, I am divinely guided. I am so excited to go!!!
So, let me rewind for a second. Thursday (Thanksgiving) was pretty great. My brother didn't come up and my dad didn't ignore me. Family relations seemed less strained, maybe still a bit rough around the edges but it was a million times better than last year. Rachel and I had a mild disagreement on Friday morning, but we let it go and went ice skating with the kids. It was Jewel's first time, and she doesn't like to try new things. The only reason she did it was because Tristan was doing it, but to her surprise, she liked it! Hearing her excitement at learning something new just warmed my heart. I was so proud when she started grinning ear to ear, "I'm doing it, Mom! I'm skating!!" I love seeing her experience that sense of accomplishment. It was definitely a good day. While Rachel arrived a bit late on Thursday, I was thankful that she came at all. The roads had started to get bad and I was afraid she'd decide not to show. I had a great time with the whole family and the kids especially.
Friday morning we got up early and had a big breakfast together, then did the ice skating thing. After that, I went straight to work. It was a very, very, very bad day for me. Most of the people who had been there for any amount of time had requested the day off, so it was pretty much just us trainees staffing the call center for Black Friday. There was also limited support, as even our trainer had taken a vacation day. I had a few very stressful calls and my numbers were absolutely atrocious. I couldn't even get in the mood to work, really -- and besides, I was soooooooooo tired from staying up late and waking up early.
Afterwards, I came home and went to sleep, but I had to wake up early to get a dish to pass for the sweat. I ended up picking up brie, crackers, and grapes at Meijer. Everyone else had actually spent time making delicious vegan concoctions, but I had just been so tired and couldn't make the time to put anything together. I got to the woman's house in Cedar Springs and it was amaaaaaaaaazing. I went down a long, winding driveway which ended at her home right up against a sparkling lake. We went inside the house first and had some snacks, then we each went in a circle and shared with the group what we were releasing and what we were empowering. This woman has been facilitating women's retreats for over 30 years and she is such a bright, sparkling, vivacious soul. She's 60 and still goes out dancing until 3 AM and tends to her 40 acres by herself. She's amazing.
She took us down a wooded path until we reached a clearing encircled by juniper trees that her mother had planted. All around were little stone deities, statuettes of Kwan Yin, Buddha, Virgin Mary, faeries, and angels. The snow accenting the branches of the evergreens and the clouds streaking the sky really made for a picturesque moment in time. We made a pile of stones and built a fire around it to heat up the rocks. We circled around the fire and sang while some drummed. At the same moment, most of us looked up after finishing a song and saw -- I kid you not -- and eagle soaring above. I recalled my session with Sue on Wednesday, during which I learned the Garuda mudra. It is the gesture of the eagle, used for balancing polarities and creating harmony within. I'll show you:
And so another coincidence just happened...when I googled Garuda Mudra just now to get that picture, I saw the one I pasted above and remembered that it was for the thyroid. There was a part of the meditation where I visualized each half of the thyroid, one side for resting and relaxing, the other for energizing and motivating. I was to picture them in perfect balance and harmony. The reason this recollection was so astounding is that a big part of our talk on Saturday revolved around thyroid issues. Weird, right?!!!
So anyway, after the rocks were glowing red, we went into the little tent thing which was a dome-shaped structure of woven together grapevines which we piled blankets on top of. In the center was a pit for the hot rocks. We took off our clothes and circled around the center under the dome. We did three rounds. During the first, we did some singing and she gradually poured water on the rocks, creating steam. I was a little warm when the round was over, but not terribly sweaty. We went and stood naked around the fire while she put new rocks in, and I was pretty cold. The second round was for releasing, and it was intense -- we each talked about what we were letting go, and after each of us, she poured a lot of water on the rocks. My back was sweating, my lips were sweating. The air was thick, my towel was drenched. I felt a little scared momentarily because I felt like I couldn't breathe. Then, I started to think of the steam as purifying and breathed deeply through my nose, imagining the healing spreading through my throat and into my lungs. I surrendered to the cleansing, I couldn't even tell the difference between the sweat and the tears anymore. I felt emotionally open and vulnerable, which at first scared me. But, like the breathing, the fear passed once I stopped resisting. I just let it be. I have to say, that was the most intense round.
The third round was just about wrapping it up, expressing gratitude, and closing the circle. I was sad that it ended but glad that it happened. I really feel like I bonded with my sisters and removed a few layers of emotional crud that had been blocking my vision. I felt more connection and clarity afterward. I still feel it! It was amazing. I got home and slept like a baby -- I was running on very little sleep since Thursday morning and my body had just had enough. So, I didn't do the 5k, but I did join my mom and sister for cookie baking today and it was good. I accidentally created a new recipe, proving that sometimes a mistake is an opportunity to discover something new and better!
I was supposed to be making thumbprint cookies. I had written the recipe down and I was beating the softened butter and eggs to a froth for 3 minutes. Except after 3 minutes, it didn't look frothy, it looked chunky. I looked at the recipe again and realized I was supposed to cream the butter and SUGAR, not the butter and eggs. No big deal, I thought. I'll just add the sugar. Except I was supposed to use only the YOLKS, and it was too late to fix THAT. So we decided I'd just turn it into snickerdoodle dough by adding 2 eggs, some crisco, and the rest of the snickerdoodle ingredients. We already had snickerdoodles, though, and Mom had bought a bunch of nuts just for the thumbprints. Sooooo, we rolled up the snickerdoodles into balls as usual but rolled them in crushed pecans instead of cinnamon and sugar. Then, I pressed my thumb into each ball and put 1/2 teaspoon of jam in the indentations. Voila! Jamdoodles! And let me tell you, they are AMAZING. Score!
Oh yeah, so the final piece of good news -- while we were making cookies, Rachel texted me asking if I wanted to have Tristan overnight so they could go out to dinner with friends. Well YES I do! He's sleeping soundly in bed right now, such a sweet little boy. He's getting big so fast, I just love to treasure each precious moment. I packed him a lunch and wrote him a love note (he appreciates those now, and I don't have very many years until displays of affection from mommy aren't cool anymore...). I'm going to make him pancakes in the morning and bring him to school. Life is pretty good at this moment :)
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