MAN, I almost forgot how much I freaking LOVE Kellee Maize!!! Lyrically she is amazing. I have never heard another performer speak right to my soul the way she does, because she speaks of things that align with my personal perspective. That's a rare treat, and her music makes me so very happy.
On a less happy note, our training got extended by six weeks. At first, that doesn't seem like a big deal. We'll be on the 5pm-2am Monday-Friday schedule longer. Tonight we realized, though, that that would take us through the holidays. This means that, although we have Christmas Day off, we have to work until 2am on Christmas Eve. And although we have New Year's DAY off....you guessed it. We're ringing in the new year together. I'm a little bummed, but it is what it is. By next year, I'll have two weeks of paid vacation and four floating holidays. I guess I can suck it up this year for the greater good. Besides, Winter Solstice falls on a Saturday, so I can at least celebrate Yule with the kids. Christmas is more about family, i.e. Mom, Dad, Blair, Heather, Grandma, Grandpa, etc. Everything will be okay.
So, tonight I am really classing it up. I am the epitome of sophistication, drinking wine out of a washed spaghetti jar. All of the other cups are in the dishwasher right now, and honestly I don't really care. I don't need to impress myself -- I already know I'm awesome. ;)
I'm thinking about deleting yesterday's entry, or at least significantly modifying it. As a matter of fact, I'm definitely going to edit it. What if I die and my family finds this blog? For the most part, I live unapologetically. Hmmm, it looks like that isn't actually a word. Oh well, it is now! ANYway, it's not that I'm ashamed, it's more that I think my sexuality isn't really an area that others really need detailed information about. I'm not a terribly private person, but I don't really need to put it all out there like that.
As much as I like to consider myself a free-spirited go-with-the-flow unbridled gypsy without borders, it turns out that I am actually quite a creature of habit. I wake up around noon, watch TV for about an hour, then I do yoga for a half hour, put on music and hoop dance for a half hour, take a shower, get dressed for work, pack my lunch, take a quick nap, and leave. Then when I get out of work, I come home, have some wine, blog, and go to sleep.
But, see, this is precisely the point I was trying to make about being single. When I was dating Holly (if you can really even call it that), I wasted so much time on the phone with her. I had obligations to text her back and chat with her on Facebook. My time was not really my own anymore and I kind of resented that, I felt that being in a relationship was cramping my style. I have a limited amount of free time and I like to spend it doing whatever I want. Does that make me sound selfish? Oh well! I don't care if it does, because for...ohhhhh, 16 years my entire life has always revolved around someone else. I have been an extension of some guy, or some girl, molding myself to better fit into their lifestyle, compromising myself, losing touch of my individuality. No more!
I have counseling tomorrow, but it's not in Kalamazoo. I was going to the same office that Tristan's counselor is in, but I realized that Allendale is not very far from my work. Besides that, I really clicked with Sue (in Allendale, at the Heart's Journey Yoga and Wellness Center). She was right up my alley with all the yoga and mindfulness, a more Eastern/holistic approach. I have never had another counselor like her in my life and I really feel like she's the one from whom I will benefit the most. I'm very excited to see her again.
Well, I need to go edit some stuff. Peace out!
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