18 Weeks

I don't have much time for this entry, but tomorrow I will be 19 weeks along so I wanted to put a little update of some type.  I have been battling the munchies in a big way, since at my last OB appointment I found out that I had gained 10 lbs in a month!  I went to the grocery store and loaded up on fruit, nuts, protein bars, yogurt, and other healthy selections.  It helps also that I am working at night, which is the time that I am most likely to snack.  Staying busy during that time helps to keep my mind off of food.  It's an ongoing battle, though!  Today I was so proud of myself because instead of eating one of the cheeseburgers in the refrigerator that were calling my name, I ate a protein bar and some crackers instead.  Then I left the house before I could change my mind!

N got a job, which is really good for him and I'm very happy for him.  As far as life in general goes for us, I suppose individually we are doing rather well.  Unfortunately, I am to the point of realizing that our relationship is beyond repair.  I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do, but having a conversation with him about it at this point would be useless.  It's like I am an orange and he is an apple, and in order for me to be happy, I need to be with a strawberry and in order for him to be happy, he needs to be with a pineapple.  I can never turn him into a strawberry and he can never turn me into a pineapple.  That doesn't mean that he isn't a wonderful, fantastic apple.  Also, I could be the best orange that ever could be -- but that means nothing to someone who wants a pineapple.  Ya dig?  Maybe I have too much time on my hands to be coming up with these off the wall analogies.

I haven't had as much heartburn lately, which I think may be related to the fact that I'm not eating as much food as I was before.  Work is going well, although it can be frustrating at times.  Calling people over and over again to take a survey gets boring because most of those calls end in hangups.  Hey, I don't blame them -- I'd hang up on me, too!  Who wants to be on the phone for 20 minutes with a complete stranger taking a survey???  I applied for another job which is full time and pays more, so I'm crossing my fingers that I can get it.

I have both of my kids this weekend and I'm very excited!  No matter what disappointment and hurt I harbor within me, I'm not going to let it show because I want us all to have a good weekend.  Something's got to change, though, and soon.  People underestimate me, but I do have my limits.