We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...

WOAH!  I was googling images to find a cool picture to go along with the title.  Yesterday's title was "Take these broken wings and learn to fly" and today's is "We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl".  I typed that in, looking for a psychedelic fish picture of some sort, when I came across this wooden pendant with those words on it.  I thought that would be the perfect gift for R, since it's our song.  I clicked on the picture to go to the website, and to the right of the picture of THAT pendant was a picture of a pendant which said, "Take these broken wings and learn to fly".  What the WHAT??  I love synchronicity ;)

I am becoming a better person every day.  I know I was a little down yesterday, and I've been moody for a few days now.  However, I'm handling it much better than I once did.  I'm very proud of myself for not giving up on me.  I know that, just like the weather (and many times BECAUSE of the weather), my moods will come and go, ebb and flow.  I'm learning to become much more zen about life.  Some affirmations I say to myself throughout the day are:
"There is only this moment, and it is wonderful"
"Be here now"
(Inhale) "Hello moment" (exhale) "I am here" and
"I feel fine and life is wonderful". 

All this positivity, though, is at odds with the activist/freedom fighter in me.  We can't conquer the evils of the world by pretending they don't exist.  As someone mentioned on Facebook the other day, Martin Luther King Jr didn't just stand around and talk about what lovely weather we're having all the time.  So how do you reconcile the law of attraction with standing up for what's right?  If we all just focused on the things that pleased us, no one would be challenging the things that harm us.  Where is the middle ground?  I intend to do some research and meditation to figure that out.

It is a full moon, but it has affected me differently this time.  I usually sleep a very broken 3-4 hours during the nights approaching and following the full moon.  This time, I'm very tired and weepy.  I ran with my sister yesterday so I actually have tonight free.  I should just take a nap, but I  think I'm going to go to Blues on the Mall.  I haven't been at all this month because I've been running with my sister on Monday and Wednesday nights.

R and I were going to spend this coming weekend together, but I just can't afford to spend any extra money right now.  We'd have met halfway, which is still an hour and a half drive for me.  I am SOOOOOOOO bummed and I'm going to miss him so much, but I believe our relationship is strong and we can handle it.  I'm not going anywhere, and I don't think he is either.  And if he IS, better to find out now than to invest years before finding out that he wasn't that into me.  If it's worth it to him, he'll wait.  And I think he will.  If it's not, I'll be grateful to know this and move on with my life.  I don't think that's going to happen, though.  He does seem very loyal and sincere.  He IS a Taurus, after all.

I'm surprised to read that Geminis are not necessarily so compatible with Taurus'.  Taureses?  I'm not really sure about the apostrophe, but you get what I'm trying to say anyway.  He seems perfect for me, because I'm very flighty and he's very grounded.  I read that Air + Earth = Dust.  I'm not really sure if dust is good or bad...???  Earth + Water = Mud, that sure doesn't sound good at all.  What about Earth and Fire?  What do THEY make?  Because I know I can't date another fire sign -- Fire CONSUMES Air.  You can see that my mind is wandering.  It's been doing that all day.

My productivity at work is waaaaaaaaaaaay down.  I need to try to focus, but I zone out all day.  I'm starting to get bored with my job and I can't get my head back in it.  I also attribute it to a lack of coffee.  :)