It has been a while...as a matter of fact, the last time I posted, we were approaching a full moon. Now, we are approaching a new moon. Saturday's new moon is going to be epic! The sun is also moving into Sagittarius. I love how the older I get, the more I notice subtle patterns. Getting older is amazing! You get to keep building on the knowledge you have, enriching your understanding through successive experiences, deepening your wisdom.
It's like each year, you go around this wheel. Maybe like a trip through 12 different states, ending where you began. The first time, maybe you notice the differences in climate. The next time you make the trip, you start to notice the different landscapes -- how some states have more trees, others have mountains, the different types of flowers growing beside the road. After you've made this same trip a few times, you start to pick up on the finer details that escaped your notice the first few dozen times because your attention was captured by the obvious things.
Anyway, I think life is like that. Each year, we go through each sign of the zodiac, starting and ending at Aries. Now that I'm 32, I am just finally starting to connect the dots and notice what is distinct to each phase. I am also starting to sense the finer differences, and pick up on the little details. I understand that being born during a certain sign, one carries the characteristics of that time throughout his or her life. Those qualities are imprinted on her personality. However, we all get to experience each sign to a certain degree as we make our annual journey. Each sign has its strengths and weaknesses, and if we learn to capitalize on the strengths in each sign as we are going through them -- to work WITH what the current energies are contributing -- we can maximize our potential.
For example, if I am wanting to learn to snowboard, I probably would be better off waiting until we get to Colorado instead of attempting to do it in California. Sure, it will be POSSIBLE in California, but so much harder -- there will be less resources, opportunity, and convenience. So, while I'm in California, why not learn how to surf? So, in short -- what ARE the energies of the current sun sign, and how can I use them to my advantage, to grow and evolve as a person?
See, this is what happens when I decide on my topic at the beginning of the entry. I end up going in a completely different direction, and then my title and picture don't make sense. Well anyway a lot has happened and I have a lot to say. I may need to write multiple entries.
On a mundane note, HOLY SNOW. We got slammed with ridiculous amounts of snow. I was trying to drive home last night, gripping the steering wheel, trying to relax. I knew everything would be okay, and I know I'll get through this winter. I just wasn't ready for this yet. I did a phone interview with Farmers, which is very close to where I live. I sincerely hope I get it, because the drive is so much shorter. The highway gets insane in the winter, and it doesn't help that every time a semi truck passes by, I get dusted with all the snow and can't see jack. But it builds character! Right!!!
I am entering into psychic disturbance time. Like, in a good way. I always forget about how the coma sleep mystical vision psychic amplification thing DOES happen, even when I'm not on meds. It's not mania, it's not depression. It would seem like depression, because I am more sleepy. But it isn't a lethargy or listlessness. It is a sudden, irresistible blast of YOU MUST SLEEP NOW. A hypnotic spell that comes over me and steals me away to the astral plane. I am powerless to fight it. So, I am swiftly taken under, instantly dream -- vividly -- and just as quickly snap back out of it. It isn't sleep as I know it. It is a mystical experience. So in that way, you would think it's mania -- because I hear the voices and have the vivid dreams more often when I'm manic. Yet, mania doesn't come with irresistible urges to instantly lose consciousness either.
Is it even PART of my psychological illness? Is ANYTHING? Is it possible that I am MEANT to be this way, and maybe that anyone with a mental disease is meant to have it, but whether it manifests as positive or negative completely depends on the way we utilize the energy we've been given? Food for thought. I am the same person I was when I was "crazy", yet I'm not crazy anymore. I have the same interplay of the same energies happening as I did when I was 22 and on a scary path to self-annihilation. Difference? The way I use them.
These are powerful energies I'm working with. I can either spectacularly fail, or spectacularly soar. It's like I'm driving a super fast car -- if I know how to drive it, this could be exhilarating. If I am careless about it, it could be catastrophic. It's the same car. The car isn't "bad" because it's fast and I could use it to destroy myself. It isn't "good" because it can get me someplace in half the time and I can use it to give my friends rides to work. It's just a car. Woah. I love espresso.
I know that seemed random, but when I woke up and saw all the snow, I decided I was going to need extra caffeine to keep me afloat. So I made a pot of coffee AND espresso and had a cup of coffee with like 4 shots. Haha now you understand this rambling path we are on today.
So anyway, I had visions this morning. (Before the espresso!) Vivid, realistic, NOT dream. My palms were BURNING. I heard people talking in my head. I hate to say that because I know how crazy it sounds, but it isn't like that. It's like I'm extra tuned in to this other dimension and I can hear things that are always there but I can't usually perceive. My sensitivity is just super heightened today. I remember this all happened right after my reiki attunements. Also, over the past few days, I have had to pee a lot -- which also happened right after my attunements. I am not a person who pees very much, so I notice when I do. It went on for a couple days earlier in the week. There are definitely some big things happening. I am going to have to write another entry though, for sure, because I haven't even touched on THAT. So, I'm going to change this topic and picture.
No comments:
Post a Comment