That is an actual picture of the lunar eclipse that Joth took through the telescope. We missed the end part, but the clouds cleared for a little while and we were able to enjoy the actual eclipse.
Oh my, I don't know what to talk about. It's only been a month, but so much has happened. My usual rambling way of writing about whatever pops into my mind is unsuitable for today, I'm afraid. I can't really go into detail about anything, but I do want to post a quick catch-up. I'll be back in the habit of blogging again now that the computer is set up.
I suppose I'll start with mood tracking. In a way, I feel manic because I have a lot of ideas in my head and I'm feeling hypersexual. I have been sleeping normally, though, so it's not full-blown mania. I HAVE been waking up between 2 and 4 for the last few days, but I believe that a lot of that has to do with the full moon energy. You know this always happens.
Oooh! Speaking of things that always happen, I think I have found my answer regarding the cause of my irregular bleeding. I saw a doctor about it last June and they did a pap and some blood work but were unable to determine what was going on. He told me to schedule an ultrasound if it continued, and it continued, but I never followed up on it. I figured as long as it wasn't cancer, I don't really care what it is.
So anyway, when I spot between periods, it's 2 weeks after. That is also the time of ovulation. I don't know why my doctor didn't find it pertinent to mention, or why it never occurred to me to Google, but apparently it is normal to spot a little during ovulation. So now I know. No big deal. As far as the times I skip periods or they are late, that could have to do with stress or weird eating habits. I might not actually even BE late, I might just have a long cycle. Anyway, I didn't come here to talk about periods the whole time. :)
So, I've been living with Joth for about a month now. I haven't cohabited with a significant other since Noe and I lived with his sister back in...was it 2012? Or 2011? Shit, I don't know. It was about this time of year, too. In fact, I left in October sometime. Well, it was when I started this blog! So anyway, this is turning out to be wayyyyyyyyyy different. I mean, we do still have issues sometimes. Relationships are still hard -- even when you find the RIGHT one, we are still flawed individuals and...no, I don't even want to say flawed. I want to say something more positive. We are still learning, growing, evolving individuals and so due to that, some conflict is to be expected and even necessary. It isn't about avoiding conflict. It's about learning better ways to deal with it.
And that, I believe, I have definitely been doing. I have been paying attention to what works and what doesn't when it comes to communication. Above all, I love this man and I love our family and I'm going to give this everything I can. I see that he gives me his best, and even though I'm not as much into the whole NLP thing as he is, I'm reminded of a very relevant saying which is, "There is no such thing as failure, only feedback". That's how I've been trying to look at things. It isn't anything to cry or get upset about when something falls apart. It's an opportunity for us to examine our core beliefs, analyze our game plan, give ourselves a good honest scan and try again with an improved approach.
We're like freaking SCIENTISTS, yo. It's all exploration and experimentation. It's FUN. Yeah, sometimes a beaker blows up in your face or you melt all of the formica off of the countertop or break all the test tubes but whatever. We could focus on that, or we could focus on the exhilaration of solving a new puzzle or making a thrilling new discovery. When I look back over the past year in regards to myself, more than anything I'm PROUD. I've changed a lot. I can only imagine how much more could be possible THIS year. This is what it feels like to be in a relationship which is in line with my purpose with a partner who sincerely has my best interests at heart. I love my life.
Speaking OF my life, how about an update? As you know, Tristan and I live with Joth here in BC. We have Juju and Austin every other weekend, and Austin is also here on Wednesdays. Tristan does get a little bit lonely on the days that he's the only kid here, and I would really love to see Joth get more time with Austin, but for now things are working out pretty well. The kids get along great, although Tristan does get grouchy from time to time and I've been working with him on that. I notice that when he is hungry or has spent too much time on electronics he begins to get irritable.
As far as SCHOOL goes, though, oh my GOSH. Seriously, the child is like a rock star. He loves his new school, hugs his teachers, has made friends, controls his emotions and does his homework. He only goes to the special ed room for test taking, and that's only because it's in his IEP. I think it's a good idea, though. It's hard for him to focus when there are other things going on around him. He is still on medication and I have him seeing a counselor out here. I couldn't be prouder. Seriously, he only went to yellow one day and that was for talking in the hall. You remember last year, right? It's just so magical. I'm just so happy, and HE seems happy, so I feel like we're winning all around.
Some of that may have to do with the fact that he doesn't go to his dad's anymore. His dad's choice (Sarah's, to be precise) -- not mine. It really is a sad story, but the end result is good. Tristan was exposed to a lot of anger, dysfunction, unfairness, and bad parenting at his dad's. I have gone over some of the things that happened to him there and I don't want to revisit them. Sarah crossed the line, though, and I called CPS to which they responded that they don't want Tristan coming over anymore so problem solved. Sarah said he pisses off her and her kids and he's basically the cause of every problem they have. It's just willful ignorance on her part, because her kids are awful, and she refuses to accept any responsibility whatsoever so Tristan was her scapegoat because otherwise she'd be forced to come to terms with the fact that she sucks as a parent and then she may actually have to CHANGE something, and who wants to do THAT?
So yeah, she slammed Tristan's head into the ground and that was the event which precipitated them telling me not to send him over there anymore. Now Tristan is doing better than he ever was before, pretty much disproving her hypothesis that the root cause of his issues were MY parenting. Yeah.
I've had a few job interviews since I've been out here which didn't really lead to anything, but I feel really good about the one I had yesterday. It's for Prairie Farms, which is 5 minutes from Tristan's school. It's Monday-Friday 8-5 doing phones and data entry. They were pretty impressed with my typing scores and I feel like I made a good impression at the interview. I'm super excited, and this job would be perfect for me.
In the meantime, I just now got back to my hypno certification course because that has to be finished by December. As far away as that may seem to be, it really isn't. December is sneaking up on us, unfortunately. No, NOT unfortunately. I am going to LOVE every day of every season in any weather under any circumstances this year. It isn't about where you are or what you have, it's about the weather you cultivate INSIDE.
I'm going to get back to training my mind to think positively again. That worked out amazingly well for me before. I can't even remember, why did I stop? Ooooh! I need to tell you also, I found a natural foods store by accident (thank you Mercury retrograde for messing up my GPS and leading me there) FIVE MINUTES FROM HOME! They have free classes every week, too!! Awesome stuff, like making herbal salves, making kombucha, working with Bach flower remedies, etc. I think this will be a PRIME opportunity to connect with like-minded people. I'm going to get back to the ayurveda certification too, now that the computer is set up.
Overall, everything is going well. Joth and I celebrated our "Equinoxiversary" on the 23rd and it was super sweet. He was sick, but we still went back to the coffee shop in Hastings that we had our first date at. I am looking forward to doing this every year for the rest of my life :)
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